Posts Tagged ‘Lawn’
Dec
Shifting The Blame
by thegooddoctor in 100 Words
When Jackie found the caterpillar crawling in her front lawn, it precipitated a world war. The war began with nuclear warheads dropped on several strategic locations, including Jackie’s house. She and her parents were killed instantly, without understanding her role in the sudden collapse of human civilization.
Jackie’s family lived near a top-secret military installation that was critical to the nation’s defense. That caterpillar was a nanobot from an enemy state. When Jackie picked it up, thinking it was an actual bug, the remote handlers panicked.
That did not stop the world for cursing Jackie as it slipped into oblivion.
Nov
The Way Things Played Out
by thegooddoctor in 100 Words
We looked around at each other and it was clear that we all shared the same sense of panic. We’d all been shrunk down to a few inches tall, and what had once been a rather shaggy lawn was now a thick forest. Our pet rabbit, Olive, was one hop away from killing us all.
If this were a Disney movie, my siblings and I would have set aside our differences and we would have worked together to overcome a string of comical obstacles before returning to normal height.
This played out more as a Lord Of The Flies scenario.
Oct
Murder In The Grass
by thegooddoctor in 100 Words
After choking down the pill, Leonard found that his scale of perspective had changed drastically. It wasn’t that he was small, but now he saw the world as if he were only three inches tall.
The house, the trees, the mailbox, they all seemed like skyscrapers. The lawn was a forest, and the sidewalk might as well have been an ocean of concrete.
Leonard immediately began to run. He never realized that so many creatures wanted him dead. He was being chased by a million silent ninjas.
When the drug had worn off, Leonard swore he would never trip again.
Sep
The Allergy
by thegooddoctor in 100 Words
Last Saturday, I woke up to discover I was allergic to the color green.
I experienced a burning sensation and debilitating pain as I watered my plants, ate a salad for lunch, and finally mowed the lawn in the afternoon. That last one led to a trip to the emergency room.
The allergist was the first to diagnose me. She said it wasn’t as unusual as I might think to be allergic to color. She mentioned a friend who had been allergic to yellow his whole life.
The thing is, as Superman, it was bad enough with the kryptonite thing.
Sep
The Hell Cow
by thegooddoctor in 100 Words
She was no ordinary cow. You could tell immediately by the indecent way she chewed her cud. She almost licked her lips with anticipation. She understood it was wrong, but she chewed anyway.
No heifer had ever embraced all seven deadly sins with such fervor. She had long ago discarded her pastoral virtues, no longer content to play her role of milk-giver. She delighted in corrupting others from her herd. There was no possibility of redemption, and woe to anyone who crossed her path.
And there she was, the infernal bovine, munching the grass in my front lawn. Damn her.
Jul
God’s Gonna Cut You Down, Version 2
by thegooddoctor in 100 Words
Michael– the commander of Heaven’s armies, the prince of holy light–was the most powerful of God’s angels. He was also charged with maintaining God’s lawn.
The lawn, fashioned by Satan in a controversial subcontracting arrangement, quickly became known as the infernal grasses. Michael hated that grass. It grew in all manner of wicked ways. It was nothing more than a hateful weed that choked all happiness and serenity out of Heaven. It smothered angels and tripped up the righteous souls of the newly dead.
Michael eventually gave up. “From now on, it will be God’s job to cut you down.”
Jul
God’s Gonna Cut You Down
by thegooddoctor in 100 Words
The lushness of heaven extends as far as the eye can see. The sweeping idyll possesses an organic quality only the most punctilious artisan could ever manufacture.
God dotes on his lawn with a paternal devotion. Most people consider the third dimension to be God’s great masterpiece, but they have never been lucky enough to grace Heaven with their presence. God’s lawn is softer than the softest hammock, yet firmer than the ripest peach. The waiting list to serve as one of God’s lawn gnomes includes Albert Einstein and Napoleon.
But even in Heaven, the grass does not cut itself.