The time machine had come with many instructions, disclaimers, and warnings. Multiple signatures were required, acknowledging no one could be held liable for what was about to happen other than himself. His lawyers advised against proceeding. His priest refused to absolve him of his sins, both past and future. His children cried.

He didn’t bother explaining that everything they feared had already happened. He died before he was born. The reality they knew and cherished was not the reality they had known and cherished. They paradoxically clung to an existence that never was and always would be.

You must realize my darling, that men have more immediate needs than a woman? Allowances should be made for us. You women don’t have to contend with an unruly member when it gets a whiff of a beautiful woman, especially if she smiles back.

You truly don’t have to do this. Please let me out. If you send me back, I’ll not ever be able to return. Please, please, Ruthie, I swear to you I won’t ever stray again. It’s the only time-machine in existence, and I’m much too fat to run from the dinosaurs at my time of life.

From Guest Contributor Len Mooring

One Hundred years in the future a time machine is built to enlist war troops. After the resistance, America was angry as the resistance killed. The Americans hijacked a plane, so the English grabbed an attack plane. The American General said, ‘We can’t shoot it down!’ His Major had an idea.

The Major said, ‘Go above the plane and drop soldiers on it!’ The General said to the Major, ‘You are right.’ As the hijacked plane flew he pushed the Major onto the attack plane. The Major’s team took out all of the enemy and both war planes landed safely.

From Guest Contributor Bayley Kelly

One hundred years in the future a time machine is built. Scientists send the machine back to get Native Americans, cowboys and dragons.

The President’s last personal, best fighter is promoted to General.

From Guest Contributor Bayley Kelly

Jim Bridger stood up after the show and spat a great stream of tobacco on the ground. He would generally have aimed at the spittoon, but this theater didn’t have one.

Bridger just shrugged.

As she awaited death, memories of her many poor life choices channel-surfed through her mind. Jennifer couldn’t help but think that her life too closely resembled a science fiction novel.

Now that she looked back, Jennifer realized her life story was more of a trilogy.

He dreamed of realities that could never be. He dreamed of being an Olympian. He dreamed of winning the Oscar for Best Supporting Actor. He dreamed of traveling to Mars and back or building a time machine. He dreamed he had the power to grant every wish. He dreamed of immortality. He dreamed he was the Creator and this entire world was a figment of his own imagination. He dreamed of true love.

Because of all these impossible dreams, he never achieved any of his dreams that were actually attainable. They all seemed pointless when compared to what was impossible.

Ever since Einstein, scientists have understood the relative nature of time. But Dr. Theodore Herzog was the first one to commoditize time. He realized the principle of the conservation of energy was applicable to time as well. If time is sped up in one place, it must be met with a corresponding slow down of time elsewhere.

Dr. Herzog managed to commercialize his findings so that he could sell people time. Unfortunately, his wind clock never made it to market. A future version of himself came back to the present and murdered him, erasing him from the timeline all together.

They had told Christopher that time travel was impossible, that it violated the laws of physics. It took twenty years of obsession, but he proved them wrong.

So it was with great regret he discovered there was one law of physics he would never be able to break. No matter how hard he tried, Christopher was never able to kill Grandfather Warren.

It was a rivalry that lasted for millennia.

These days, the friends laugh over the destruction they wrought. They occasionally admit to some regret, but proudly note the empire runs on schedule, and tea is always served at three.