Posts Tagged ‘King’
Nov
Tiny King Seamus
by thegooddoctor in 100 Words
He was the tiny king of the world’s smallest microdictatorship.
He referred to it as his island nation though it was really just seven-ninths of a square meter that was cordoned off in the vacant lot next to Baxter Park.
“Sing to me not of your troubled refrains and broken governments. We will not recognize your sovereignty until you recognize ours.” He always spouted such nonsense through the broken megaphone he carried with him like a scepter.
When they came to haul him off to the mental ward, they found that he’d appointed a rabid rottweiler as Minister of Defense.
Oct
Fantasy Realm
by thegooddoctor in 100 Words
From a young age, Donald preferred the life of his imagination to the doldrums of the real world. He concocted fantasies that transcended the bounds of his normal life, dreams that promised the fulfillment of wishes he barely dared to comprehend.
In his fantasy world, Donald was no longer trapped in the circumstances of his birth. He had the freedom to literally fly to distant lands and make choices for himself instead of being dictated to.
It was always with bitter regret that Donald abandoned those visions and was forced to return to his life as the King of Scotland.
Jul
Honors Bestowed
by thegooddoctor in 100 Words
When the bandit chief Harper Caine invaded the capital, he was met with the torrential might of the King’s Watch. After he quickly dispatched the watchmen, the King’s ministers unanimously called for negotiation.
It was decided they would offer Harper Caine lordship over the King’s peach orchards.
“Why would I agree to such a settlement?” asked Harper Caine.
“Because tending to the King’s peaches is considered the greatest honor in all the lands and comes with a salary of 1,000 gold bars.”
“I agree to those terms.”
It was many years before Harper Caine realized the King cared nothing for peaches.
Jul
The Warlock’s Apprentice
by thegooddoctor in 100 Words
Ralph couldn’t stand the tenebrous gloom that hung over the hovel and did everything he could to bring a bit of life to the place. Once, he tied ribbons around the frog legs, but they caused the spell to misfire. Instead of being cursed with thirteen years of bad luck, the enemy king found himself with a penchant for curly hair. Another time, he ruined a batch of poison apples by adding cinnamon. His master was constantly berating Ralph’s predilection for bright-colored robes.
It was never easy being gay, but it was especially difficult as a warlock’s apprentice.
Apr
The King’s Club
by thegooddoctor in 100 Words
The last thing you need when you’re a new king is the old king looking over your shoulder. Sure, a lot of kings die of old age, or are poisoned, but some simply abdicate because they’re ready for some peace and quiet.
And that’s why we opened the King’s Club, a top flight, luxury facility where former kings are treated as the royalty they used to be. When monarchs retire to the King’s Club, they are fully fed, dressed, washed and groomed. We do everything we can to keep them distracted.
And if that doesn’t work, there’s always poison, right?