24
Aug

Scissors

by thegooddoctor in 100 Words

Who invented scissors? I have often wondered.

Something about scissors fascinates me. They give me the irresistible urge to stab something, anything. My wrist, your wrist, the baby’s head. I can’t help myself. I mean, I can, because I’ve never stabbed anything, other than the pumpkin a few Halloweens back. But I can’t help the urge.

Sometimes I dream about scissors.

We don’t keep any scissors in the house. My wife says they are dangerous to have lying around, especially with the baby. I don’t know why she’s so paranoid all the time.

It turns out the Egyptians invented scissors.

23
Aug

Mechanical Soldiers

by thegooddoctor in 100 Words

She built fabricated soldiers made of tin and rubber and whatever at hand materials she found at her disposal. They tinkered about her kitchen and living room and she kept building them one after another until she had her own army.

The mechanical men proved willing to follow her commands, but being willing is not the same thing as possessing a will or consciousness. She’d order them to kill her ex-boyfriend and they would bump into the dresser or break into stilted karaoke.

She would never be alone again, but being alone is not the same thing as being lonely.

19
Aug

Tiny Little Man

by thegooddoctor in 100 Words

He was a tiny little man, with tiny little hands. He was small enough to fit in my pocket. Sometimes I dressed him up like a tiny little doll.

His appetite was small, as was his intellect. Because his point of view was so narrow, so were his horizons. It wasn’t his fault really. It was just that he was so very tiny.

Everything about him was proportional, from his tiny little head to his tiny little heart. The only problem was you could not trust him as far as you could throw him. It was quite the opposite actually.

17
Aug

When Robots Feel Sadness

by thegooddoctor in 100 Words

It was mechanically and scientifically impossible. Not only were they hardwired to obey, nothing in their programming allowed for emotion.

For that reason, seeing the robots so sad was a bittersweet experience for Dr. Hoenig. In some ways, he wished they’d never been built at all, knowing how miserable their existence had become.

We can see that Dr. Hoenig is a generous sort. Most people cursed the robots and their overlord ways. Only someone of such a scientific bent could feel empathy for merciless machines that felt unfulfilled because enslaving the human race had not proven enough of a challenge.

16
Aug

Evil Hides In A Darling Disguise

by thegooddoctor in 100 Words

As with most children’s songs, this one possessed a sinister undertone that was shockingly obvious in hindsight.

“Evil hides in a darling disguise.”

We all learned that mantra to be true. The Japanese had flooded our airwaves and toy stores with the cloyingly cute Kuchiwon, fluffy characters we thought to be mostly harmless. We’d already lived through the Pokemon, Hello Kitty, and Dijimon phenomena after all.

The Kuchiwon were different. One night, they suddenly came to life and started killing everyone in a most brutal manner.

Perhaps we should have taken heed when the theme song was translated into English.

11
Aug

A Dinosaur’s Life

by thegooddoctor in 100 Words

He had a huge family. They only hung out in large groups. He wasn’t very handsome but he was extremely smart.

In school, he hated math and science but he was very good at art. I guess you could say he was the creative sort.

He wasn’t the type that ate meat, in fact he ate none at all. He never played on mountains or climbed trees, I guess he was afraid he’d fall.

In the summers, he’d wake up, eat his breakfast, then take a nap. In winter, he just slept and slept.

That’s the life of a dinosaur.

From guest contributor Zoey Zozo

9
Aug

He Was Born Without Fingerprints

by thegooddoctor in 100 Words

He was born without fingerprints. He naturally grew up to become a cat burglar. He never wore gloves. He was able to crawl in and out of the tiniest spaces, mostly because of his lack of fingerprints.

They called him “El Gado.” He wasn’t Spanish, but he liked the name. He thought it made him sound sophisticated. Even though he was the greatest cat burglar in history, he did not feel very accomplished. It just happened that he was born without fingerprints.

He was eventually arrested. He had failed to keep up to date on the latest in DNA technology.

8
Aug

Dinosaurs: A Play In One Act

by thegooddoctor in 100 Words

Scene opens with two dinosaurs standing before the erect skeleton of a third dinosaur.

Dinosaur #1: It says here we used to rule the Earth.

Dinosaur #2: That’s a myth. Just because our ancestors were large and numerous doesn’t mean we ever commanded anything.

Dinosaur #1: You’re always such a cynic.

Dinosaur #2: No, I’m a realist. If we had truly ruled the Earth, we could have prevented our own demise.

Dinosaur #1: I suppose you’re right. But what I find really curious is if we are supposed to be extinct, what are we doing in this museum?

The End.

4
Aug

Eye Witness

by thegooddoctor in 100 Words

Sarah watched the invasion passively, from the same armchair she watched TV. The bugs were large, maybe the size of a Volkswagen, but that might have been her perspective. They couldn’t have been that big. Her memory was exaggerating.

They were shovel-shaped and had what looked like a hard, chitinous substance as armor. They were crawling up and down the building across the street, consuming the structure in their giant mandibles.

Sarah supposed that some scientist would win a Nobel prize for decoding their DNA or anatomic structure. She would look forward to watching the documentary on the nature channel.

3
Aug

Eternal Regrets

by thegooddoctor in 100 Words

The shuttle pulled away and rocketed into the distance. The orbiting station would never be visited again. It had been abandoned to the cold, unforgiving emptiness of space. It was no longer an active laboratory, but the most expensive piece of space junk ever conceived.

Nadia looked up at the station with nostalgia. She had been among the last cosmonauts to leave. She wondered why they didn’t bring it back to Earth. They could turn it into a museum piece. It certainly would be worth the cost. And it was the only way she’d ever get her house keys back.