Sebastian and Miranda scurried out of the shade to their makeshift white board, a section of ground where they’d used branches and whatever detritus was at hand to spell out the word, “HELP!” But the passenger plane was too high and too fast to notice them amid the long expanse of nothingness that constituted their home.

“As long as we have NPR on the radio, we’ll survive.”

“Look, Ed. the Sun’s coming out.”

“Your hair’s a mess…You know birds. They’d rather splatter you after your shampoo, not now.”

From Guest Contributor David Sydney

One morning, the adults of Sycamore woke up to find that all of the children had disappeared. There were no signs of abduction or notes left behind and, even more curious, it appeared that many of them had packed bags of clothes and favorite belongings before they departed.

-Your children”

One summer, I went to Circus Camp. As an acrobat, I was overcome by terror, lost my grip on the trapeze, and plunged into the net before my partner could grab my ankles. Animals hated me. The dancing horse tried to bite me, and the performing poodles peed on my shoes. I looked hilarious in clown makeup, but my timing was terrible, and I was trampled while exiting the tiny car. I tried juggling and hit myself in the face with the balls. Fortunately, the camp staff were brilliant photographers; the shots they posted on Instagram made my family proud.

From Guest Contributor R.K. West

When I think of the nights we spent together snuggling and planning the future, it makes my stomach ache. How could he have an affair with my sister who I adored. I remember when I walked into the bedroom, Sarah screeched, and Jeff’s mouth dropped. I nearly trampled his cat Muffin fleeing the room. I could hear their footsteps following me down the stairs and calling my name, but I rushed out the door and into my car peeling down the street. I blasted the radio to distract the images of their naked bodies entwined.

Now, I plot my revenge.

From Guest Contributor Lisa M. Scuderi-Burkimsher

Chance traveled to this decade against his will. Yes, he’d complained plenty about how fucked up everything was in his own time. He’d pointed to a number of examples of how society had been better before and that the whole country was doomed if we didn’t get our shit together. But the last time he checked, it was still a free country. He could complain all he wanted. It didn’t mean he actually wanted to teleport back to the past.

How was he to know his wife was building a time machine in their basement just to shut him up?

Bob was excited. His new coworkers had planned a birthday surprise. It was slightly strange they’d gone through the trouble of learning what he liked, blindfolding him, and driving him to a secret location when he’d only joined the team two weeks ago, but he he’d taken the job because of their excellent HR record. He was already impressed by their enthusiasm for team building activities.

“I said I liked beer, not bears!”

“Isn’t he great?” the mother asked amid clanging cymbals.

“I got scared, Mommy. Did you see the dragon’s big teeth?”

From Guest Contributor Krystyna Fedosejevs

I died in the most absurd manner possible.

By the way, the world record is 381.