March, 2010 Archives
Mar
The Mustache
by thegooddoctor in 100 Words
Last Tuesday morning, I woke up with a moustache. It had not been there the day before. It appeared, fully formed, overnight.
My new moustache seems to have a mind of its own. I used to smoke regularly, but it will not abide by any kind of flame close to my face. It also has a taste for jerky.
My girlfriend, thinking it was one of those fake ‘staches you wear for Halloween, tried to pull it off my face. Let’s just say I’m single now.
And I know it is only a matter of time before it kills again.
Mar
Hindsight
by thegooddoctor in 100 Words
I carried my shipwreck bag with me everywhere. Inside, I kept everything I would need were I ever stranded on a desert island. A Swiss army knife. A first aid kit. Fishing line and hooks. A Zippo lighter with extra fuel. My five favorite books. An mp3 player with my favorite music. A solar charger. The U.S. Army Survival Manual. Duct tape. A torch. Mosquito repellent.
People thought I was crazy, but here I am.
In hindsight, it would have made more sense to pack a satellite phone. Then I wouldn’t still be stranded on this god forsaken island.
Mar
The Mad Scientist
by thegooddoctor in 100 Words
He was mad. Truly mad.
He spent nearly every moment in his lab, concocting, inventing, dissecting the most horrific of catastrophes. His chilling laughter echoed through the 3 AM night.
He toyed with science, shaping it in his hands, bending it to his crazed will, contorting the numbers to the point where everything was possible.
He published his results profusely. His colleagues, upon receiving their monthly journals, trembled with dismay when they saw his name listed in the table of contents.
His diabolical genius compelled him to tweak his results just enough that all of his results would be slightly inaccurate.
Mar
The Joke
by thegooddoctor in 100 Words
“Stop me if you’ve heard this one before. A man walks into a bar–”
“Stop.”
“I haven’t even finished yet.”
“But you said to stop you if I’ve heard it.”
“You don’t know what the joke is.”
“Sure I do. A man walks into a bar…”
“That’s just the beginning.”
“The beginning of a joke I’ve heard before.”
“Look, here’s the punchline. The extra long one’s for the dog.”
“Oh, I guess I haven’t heard it before.”
“Well, now it’s ruined.”
“No, start over.”
“Okay, a guy goes into a bar–”
“No, that one I’ve heard. Tell the new one.”
Mar
The Stray Cats Of Glen Eden
by thegooddoctor in 100 Words
Glen Eden would otherwise be quite charming if not for the herd of cats.
They are unlike any cats you have ever seen. The size of golden retrievers, with husky fur, they have thoroughly overrun the village.
Their favorite spot is the widow’s cabin. She not only feeds them fish and chicken in individual bowls, but she always keeps her fire burning, making her roof an especially balmy spot for naps.
The cats don’t normally eat humans, but knowing that there have been attacks from time to time is enough to make any visit to Glen Eden a harrowing affair.