Why LOTR Sucks: Finally

Damn you, Peter Jackson. Just when you thought the credits would roll, he added another 10 minutes. I think every single frame had crying hobbits in it. It goes without saying the entire scene was shot in slow motion.

I think I know why it won best picture. No one actually sat through all 4 hours. The entire academy just assumed it must be a good movie. I may in fact be the first person to ever actually sit through the entire extended edition of all three movies.

Minutes Watched: 3.4:00.05

Number of Montages: 17

Number of slow motion close-ups of people crying: 138

Start at the beginning

Quitting The Grave Cover ThumbCheck out Decater's new novel, available now at Amazon. Plus, don't forget his earlier books: Ahab's Adventures in Wonderland and Picasso Painted Dinosaurs.