Why LOTR Sucks: Legolas Goes Surfing

I just watched Legolas go surfing down the stairs on a shield while shooting arrows. I probably would have found this brilliant when I was twelve.

I also watched Gimli slide across granite, while wearing armor, in between the legs of an orc that he then stabbed with his axe. Then there was all the instances of Aragorn noticing important details all the way across the battlefield, in the dark, that no one else seemed to notice. Oh, and Legolas and Gimli kept pausing from battle to converse with each other.

My point is, the battle action isn’t what I would call…realistic.

Minutes Watched: 2.2:56.55

Number of Montages: 12

Number of slow motion close-ups of people crying: 43

Start at the beginning

Quitting The Grave Cover ThumbCheck out Decater's new novel, available now at Amazon. Plus, don't forget his earlier books: Ahab's Adventures in Wonderland and Picasso Painted Dinosaurs.