Among our copious amounts of fanmail, we are always getting asked the same questions. I’ve compiled a list of the most frequently asked questions, and provided the answers here. I know a bunch of retards are still going to ask the same questions, but now I can respond with a real snide email saying, “Look at the FAQ, dipshit.”
1. How can you square entropy? That’s scientifically impossible? First of all, the fact you asked the question tells me you are a douche bag. Second, I spoke with Science just the other day, and she assured me that squaring entropy is definitely possible. As long as you aren’t a douche bag.
2. Why should I pay for your blog when MSN offers their content for free? We’ll gladly accept your donations. Make all checks payable to The Chaos Factory and email them to firstname.lastname@example.org.
3. Who was responsible for the first Trans-Atlantic Telegraph Cable? Cyrus West Field, in 1892.
4. Dinosaurs or Killer Robots? Dinosaurs
5. I want to punch you in the face. Go ahead and try.
6. Why do you hate God? First, let me ask you a question. Just because I make fun of God every once in a while, why do you assume I hate God? I just think he can be a prick sometimes. Like the other day I was asking really nicely for a rainstorm to hit so I could avoid going to work, and he completely ignored me. I mean, it’s rained every day for like the last 4 weeks, and the one day I need it to rain, God ignores me. Classic prick behavior. But hey, we’re all pricks sometimes. I am a forgiving guy. I don’t hold it against him.