If I Might Say So, You Sir, Are An Asshole

ass·hole (shl) n. Vulgar Slang A thoroughly contemptible, detestable person

dick·head (dkhd) n. Vulgar Slang An inept, foolish, or contemptible person.

douche bag n. 1. Medicine The bag forming part of a douche 2. Vulgar Slang A contemptible person

On the surface, there is little to distinguish the preceding epithets. In order to properly employ each of them, you must understand the deeply nuanced differences that only the most subtle intellect is able to discern.

Let’s say you are moving into a new apartment. You call a few friends and ask them for help. Friend one says that he’s busy, and can’t help, even though you know he’s definitely free that day. He is a dickhead. Friend two says she would love to help. But on the day of the move she’s no where to be found, and her phone is turned off. She is an asshole. Friend three says he will help, but his presence becomes so insufferable, you wish you had just ponied up the money to hire some movers. Plus, now you have to invite him to your housewarming party. He is a douche bag.

Congratulations! Now that you have learned their correct usage, feel free to drop these terms casually into conversation.

Please Note, this blog was written while reviewing vocab flashcards for the S.A.T.

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