Why LOTR Sucks: You Won’t Believe This

But according to the two words of text on my screen, the editors, producers, studio execs, family members, and everyone else associated in any way with the making of the Lord of the Rings have gotten together for an intervention and forced Peter Jackson to finally, at long last, end the movie.

I can’t help but cry a little.*

Minutes Watched: 3.4:01.31

Number of Montages: 17

Number of slow motion close-ups of people crying: 138

Start at the beginning

Quitting The Grave Cover ThumbCheck out Decater's new novel, available now at Amazon. Plus, don't forget his earlier books: Ahab's Adventures in Wonderland and Picasso Painted Dinosaurs.