Why LOTR Sucks: All This Slow Motion Is Making Me Seasick

I’m convinced that if Peter Jackson hadn’t used so much slow motion, all three movies would have clocked in under 9 hours. As it is, we’re getting close to 11. But everything just faded to black, after Frodo, Merry, and Pippin had a pillow fight in bed while the others watched (no judgements here). I’m sure the movie is finally over.

Minutes Watched: 3.3:42.42

Number of Montages: 17

Number of slow motion close-ups of people crying: 116

Start at the beginning

Quitting The Grave Cover ThumbCheck out Decater's new novel, available now at Amazon. Plus, don't forget his earlier books: Ahab's Adventures in Wonderland and Picasso Painted Dinosaurs.