Why Are You A Douche Bag And Other Frequently Asked Questions
|Among our copious amounts of fanmail, we are always getting asked the same questions. I’ve compiled a list of the most frequently asked questions*, and provided the answers here. I know a bunch of retards are still going to ask the same questions, but now I can respond with a real snide email saying, “Look at the FAQ, dipshit.”
1. Are you gay? No, I’m not. In fact, I slept with your mom last night.
2. How can you square entropy? That’s scientifically impossible? First of all, the fact you asked the question tells me you are a douche bag. Second, I spoke with Science just the other day, and she assured me that squaring entropy is definitely possible. As long as you aren’t a douche bag.
3. Why should I pay for your blog when MSN offers their content for free? We’ll gladly accept your donations. Make all checks payable to The Chaos Factory and email them to doc@entropy2.com.
4. Who was responsible for the first Trans-Atlantic Telegraph Cable? Cyrus West Field, in 1892.
5. Dinosaurs or Killer Robots? Dinosaurs
6. I want to punch you in the face. Go ahead and try.
7. Why do you hate God? First, let me ask you a question. Just because I make fun of God every once in a while, why do you assume I hate God? I just think he can be a prick sometimes. Like the other day I was asking really nicely for a rainstorm to hit so I could avoid going to work, and he completely ignored me. I mean, it’s rained every day for like the last 4 weeks, and the one day I need it to rain, God ignores me. Classic prick behavior. But hey, we’re all pricks sometimes. I am a forgiving guy. I don’t hold it against him.
*Those on the inside like to refer to this kind of answer sheet as an FAQ.
Please Note: This blog does not like you, and wishes you would stop asking the same questions over and over again.