Why 27 Dresses Is The Best Movie

I have never seen 27 dresses. I’m not even entirely clear on the plot, but based upon what I’ve heard, I am quite certain 27 Dresses is the best movie.

Movie Review

Please be warned that there will be some spoilers in this review.

27 Dresses stars that woman from Knocked Up. I don’t know her name, but I think it’s German. She’s also in a TV show about doctors or lawyers or something professional like that.

In the movie, it’s a situation of “Always a bridesmaid, never the bride.” The star, we’ll call her Madame X, has been a bridesmaid approximately 27 times. Hence the 27 dresses. (No hatemail please. I warned you there would be spoilers.) Madame X is understandably sad that all of her friends are getting married but not her. In fact, she’s contemplating suicide or a total makeover. Whatever it takes to find a man and achieve fulfillment.

We can assume that she has a male best friend who is either in love with her, or with whom she’s always been in love. Or they have been friends for a long time, but never realized they were perfect for each other. This happens all the time. A few years ago, I rode the bus to work every day, and every day there was a woman who sat near the back. I never talked to her, but later on I found out she was perfect for me. Unfortunately, she was married and had three kids, but that’s life, you know. You can’t control who you fall in love with.

So Madame X ends up finally getting her 28th dress, and this time it’s white. And everyone lives happily ever after, except that jerk of a guy who was always mean to her and deserved an unhappy ending. His death is supremely satisfactory to the entire audience and is applauded.

The end.

Please Note, as no one at The Chaos Factory has ever actually seen 27 Dresses, it may in fact only be the second best movie.

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