The Moms And Himself

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I feel like everything makes sense now.

We’ve returned to Hal as the narrator, but now he’s only ten years old. It’s still unclear whether this conversation with a professional conversationalist actually took place. It devolves into something approximating a fever dream of what a therapy session might be like if you were ten years old and also taking acid. But, it’s almost entirely dialogue and so much easier to follow than what came before.

Also, we get some important back story. We learn why Hal calls his mom The Moms, and we learn that Himself is the family’s name for his father. We learn that Hal might have a speaking disorder, that the weird sounds that frightened the Arizona deans might have something to do with not enough saliva, and there is a reference to some kind of mental illness on the part of the father. None of this can be trusted, of course, because Hal is about as reliable as Donald Trump during a press conference. But hey, it’s something.

I have also decided that I am going to be a professional conversationalist when I grow up. It goes without saying that I will be delving full bore into the psyches of all prospective clients.

And of course, the title of this episode is nearly as odd as the last one, except now it must refer to the fact there is time jumping involved and be some sort of meta-commentary on hygiene commercials in the 80’s and 90’s.

This reminds me of my high school theater class when we were being taught the concept of improv. Me and Mark Quigley got paired together, and we were prompted to walk along the beach. Mark pointed to two imaginary girls and asked if he thought they were looking at us. After some stilted banter, and with nothing else coming to mind, I suddenly blurted out the following based on a popular commercial at the time:

“I wonder if she douches.”

Maybe I should have pursued improv. In any case, those natural talents will come in handy as I pursue a career in professional conversation.

Vocab Word: Caries Decay and crumbling of a tooth or bone. (I wonder if DFW was ever in medical school. He certainly knows a lot of medical jargon.)

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