Why LOTR Sucks: The Academy Voters Should Be Ashamed

Did you know that Return of the King won the best picture award at the 2003 Academy Awards? Yes it’s true. I know, after watching that scene where Denethor tries to burn Faramir and Gandalf rescues him, that it must seem impossible that this movie would even have a 25% fresh rating on Rotten Tomatoes, but it’s true. Go ahead and look it up here. The Return of the King won 11 Oscars. Not just technical ones either. It actually was voted the best movie of 2003.

I know what you’re thinking. 2003 must have been a shit year for movies. But these are films that were also released in 2003: Lost in Translation, Mystic River, Big Fish, 21 Grams, City Of God, American Splendor, and Thirteen. I know. It doesn’t make any sense.

In fact, the critic rating for Return of the King is 94%. The Audience rating is only 83%. The so-called critics liked this piece of crap even more than the general public. Even more curious, the top critics rating is 98%. I bet every one of those critics would like to rethink their review now.

Minutes Watched: 3.2:38.54

Number of Montages: 17

Number of slow motion close-ups of people crying: 67

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