Why LOTR Sucks: I Always Liked How The Second Book Had A Two In The Title

I’ve finally gotten The Two Towers started, meaning I’m one third of my way through this waking nightmare.

Truthfully, I love the opening scene. I love how we swoop in on those New Zealand mountains and the voice of Gandalf gradually grows louder and we realize he’s fighting the Balrog. Then we zoom inside the Mines and watch his last stand one more time. But then as he falls, we see more of the action and watch as the pair fall and fight and fight and fall deep into the center of the Earth. It reminds the audience of the end of the last movie, in case they had forgotten, and gives a hint of what’s to come.

I’m torn about mentioning the slow motion close-up of Frodo crying. I mean, it’s a flashback to the earlier movie, so should I count it twice?

Oh, what the hell. Let’s count it.

Minutes Watched: 2.0:3.48

Number of Montages: 7

Number of slow motion close-ups of people crying: 29

Start at the beginning

Check out Decater's novel, available now at Amazon. Plus, don't forget his other books: They Both Love Vonnegut, Ahab's Adventures in Wonderland, and Picasso Painted Dinosaurs.