Conspiracy Theory

This comes to us from the New Yorker:

In the summer of 1660, an Englishman named William Harrison vanished on a walk, near the village of Charingworth, in Gloucestershire. His bloodstained hat was soon discovered on the side of a local road. Police interrogated Harrison’s servant, John Perry, and eventually Perry gave a statement that his mother and his brother had killed Harrison for money. Perry, his mother, and his brother were hanged. Two years later, Harrison reappeared. He insisted, fancifully, that he had been abducted by a band of criminals and sold into slavery. Whatever happened, one thing was indisputable: he had not been murdered by the Perrys.

Nearly two hundred years later, William Henry Harrison was elected president of the United States. He served in office for exactly 32 days, when he died due to complications from pneumonia. Not only was he the first President to die in office, but he was also the oldest president to be elected until Ronald Reagan in 1980.

35 years on, another William Harrison, this one better known to the world as Billy the Kid, terrorized New Mexico as a gun-slinging outlaw. He and his gang of Regulators stormed around Lincoln County committing various travesties against the good citizens of the region. He was eventually shot in the back by Sheriff Pat Garrett.

Could it be a coincidence that these three William Harrisons died under mysterious, often controversial, circumstances more than 200 years apart? Or were all three William Harrisons the same man, an immortal alien who is hiding among us?

Obviously the answer is the latter, and I have decided to dedicate all my time and savings to proving that the U.S. Government, at the behest of Barack Obama, has been leading a cover up.

I will not rest until the truth is revealed.

Please Note: This blog is offering a cash money reward for information regarding the current whereabouts of William Harrison.

Check out Decater's new novel, available now at Amazon. Plus, don't forget his earlier books: Ahab's Adventures in Wonderland and Picasso Painted Dinosaurs.