Nothing That An Ad On Craig’s List Can’t Fix

Perhaps you think you have it bad. Maybe you were recently fired from your job at Microsoft for incompetence. Or a dingo just ate your baby, but the police are convinced you ate your baby instead. Then there’s the tumor growing on the back of your skull. You were scared it might be cancer, but it turns out it’s a nest of spider eggs.

But cheer up. At least you aren’t this tree.

It seems that the cycad is the only one of its species left on the entire planet. It’s pathetic little pine cone will forever hang lonely from its branches, completely incapable of fulfilling its singular ambition in life.

If that ain’t some shit.

Please Note: This blog does not endorse baby eating, by dingos or otherwise. Except in the name of science, of course.

Check out Decater's new novel, available now at Amazon. Plus, don't forget his earlier books: Ahab's Adventures in Wonderland and Picasso Painted Dinosaurs.