The Most Stinging One-Liners From Groucho Marx
After last week’s post on Oscar Wilde, the people have been clamoring for the other side of the equation. So here we present the best one-liners from Groucho Marx, the only man to successfully match wits with Wilde.*
If you have never seen Duck Soup, you should take the next hour of your day to finally do so. Thanks YouTube!
#11 Before I speak, I have something important to say.
#10 It isn’t necessary to have relatives in Kansas City in order to be unhappy.
#9 She got her looks from her father. He’s a plastic surgeon.
#8 I could dance with you until the cows come home. On second thought I’d rather dance with the cows until you come home.
#7 My favorite poem is the one that starts ‘Thirty days hath September’ because it actually tells you something.
#6 Those are my principles, and if you don’t like them… well, I have others.
#5 Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped.
#4 I never forget a face, but in your case I’ll be glad to make an exception.
#3 I’ve been looking for a girl like you — not you, but a girl like you
#2 He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot, but don’t let that fool you. He really is an idiot.
#1 I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn’t it.
*Not True. William Shakespeare also successfully matched wits with him, and there is anecdotal evidence that Bob Saget did as well.
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dancewithsunflowers
I prefer not to think of all the misery but of all the beauty that still remains. -Anne Frank