Why LOTR Sucks: It’s Over Now

With these words, Rudy declares the movie over. The ring has been destroyed. Gollum is dead, but at least he died happy. Everyone has gotten their very own slow motion close-up. The orcs were all killed when the ground collapsed (though none of the humans were harmed). The Eye of Sauron is no more.

I figure we have about five more minutes to wrap everything up and I can go back to leading a normal life. Thank god.

Minutes Watched: 3.3:37.47

Number of Montages: 17

Number of slow motion close-ups of people crying: 106

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