Why LOTR Sucks: The Disappearing Army

Somehow, the course of retreating inside the keep, Theoden misplaced his army. It seems he has maybe twenty men left.

Other problems:

At the very last minute they decide they better send the women and children through the escape passage, although now it’s too late. Why they didn’t think to send them sooner is beyond me.

Orcs are terrified of horses, and will jump out of their way.

Theoden, still a dick.

The final shot of Gandalf leading the charge down the hill is laughably bad.

I hated this battle when I saw it in the theater, and I hate it more now. It’s a battle scene for children. There is no drama, terribly choreographed action, and a total disregard for realism. I’ve read it named among the best battle scenes ever filmed, alongside Braveheart and Saving Private Ryan.

Minutes Watched: 2.3:10.24

Number of Montages: 12

Number of slow motion close-ups of people crying: 45

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