It Weighs On Me So Heavy

it weighs on me so heavy
that somehow i control my destiny
and i can craft the reality
of a world i’ll be happy to live in

but the planets and stars and galaxies
careen out of control
sometimes imploding in on themselves
sometimes drifting into the infinity

and my weight is infinitesimal by comparison
my choices that seem so crucial
to the continued existence of the universe
my mistakes that make God cry

amount to mostly nothing in the grand scheme
of everything and everyone

but they matter to me
and my tears are real
and my choices have to matter
even when Feynman argues that they don’t

because even if matter
will always be uncertain
the granularities of the space and time
that ripple around me
are the only universe I can ever comprehend

and so it weighs on me so heavy
the regret that orbits around my heart
and what looks like an albatross
and feels like a heavy cross
is just the gravity of my imagination
the most certain principle of all

-Draft One

Quitting The Grave Cover ThumbCheck out Decater's new novel, available now at Amazon. Plus, don't forget his earlier books: Ahab's Adventures in Wonderland and Picasso Painted Dinosaurs.