How To Stay Young And Virile Well Into Your Seventies

I live my life by a few simple rules. I never drink alcohol or eat meat. I sedulously say please and thank you when withdrawing large amounts of money from my bank account. And I always make sure I use clean needles when injecting myself with steroids. In this way, I aim to live a long and healthy life.

Many people look at my success and want to know what my secret is. It all starts with my daily routine. I’m much like a young Jay Gatsby in that way.

Whether you want to be a successful entrepreneur, plan on participating in the Olympics some day, hope to win the Nobel Prize, or are recently unemployed and have some extra time on your hands, this daily routine will help you to reach your goals:

• Rise From Bed–6 A.M.
• Dumbbell Exercise And Parkour–6.15 to 6.30 A.M.
• Read From The Kabbalah–7.15 to 8 A.M.
• Study The Practice Of Medicine–8 to 8.30 A.M.
• Trade Stocks–9 A.M. to 4.30 P.M.
• Cricket And Other Bat Sports–4.30 to 5 P.M.
• Practice Sleight Of Hand–5 to 6 P.M.
• Work On Time Machine And Other Needed Inventions–7 to 9 P.M.
• Watch Television Until Falling Asleep–10 P.M. to Midnight

This daily routine helped James Franco become a modern day Renaissance Man, and it will help you as well.

Please Note: Do not attempt to perform parkour while carrying dumbbells. If you do, you will die.

Check out Decater's new novel, available now at Amazon. Plus, don't forget his earlier books: Ahab's Adventures in Wonderland and Picasso Painted Dinosaurs.