Tomorrow Will Today Before Yesterday

I used to think Jeff Probst had the best job in the world, but that was the past. Today I’m here to speak about the future.*

Tomorrow I will come across this article about author and futurist Jane McGonigal. I will be extremely impressed by her job title: Author and Futurist!

The article will raise many questions. How does one become a futurist. Is it something you major in at university? Or is it a self-proclaimed title, much like Napoleon or Randy Savage? Most importantly, how does one get paid as a futurist?

Whatever the particulars, it won’t stop me from proclaiming myself a futurist, as of that moment. My job will be to analyze the future and make predictions based on sound deductive reasoning using special proprietary algorithms of my own creation. Corporations will pay me six figure salaries to learn how to better position themselves in the changing marketplace. Stock market analysts will consult me over tomorrow’s trends in pork futures and mortgage derivatives. Heads of state will pick my brain in order to steer their countries in the right direction, while insuring they win reelection.

As of this moment, I am a futurist.**

Please Note: This blog is #WINNING

*Imagine I’m speaking in a sexy robot voice, as that is what I will sound like in the future.

**Now where the fuck is my robot butler!

Check out Decater's new novel, available now at Amazon. Plus, don't forget his earlier books: Ahab's Adventures in Wonderland and Picasso Painted Dinosaurs.