The Most Beloved Chemical Elements

Science really loves elements. That’s why there are so many of them. Back in the day, when Science was still a baby, there were only four elements: Fire, Water, Earth, and Air.

Now, there are 112 elements. That’s because when Science ran out of actual elements, he started making them up. This is a true fact. Look at a Periodic Table. Once you get to 93, they are all synthetic elements. They aren’t real.

Yet another reason why I love Science.

#27 Francium

Atomic Symbol: Fr

Atomic Number: 87

Fun Fact: Known as Freedomium in the United States since 2003.

#26 Tin

Atomic Symbol: Sn

Atomic Number: 50

Fun Fact: Frank Baum almost decided his woodsman should be made of Zirconium. Doesn’t quite have the same ring to it.

#25 Aluminum

Atomic Symbol: Al

Atomic Number: 13

Fun Fact: If you are British, you are stupid. You know why.

#24 Zinc

Atomic Symbol: Zn

Atomic Number: 30

Fun Fact: I got nothing.

#23 Germanium

Atomic Symbol: Ge

Atomic Number: 32

Fun Fact: You can use Germanium to make awesome wicked lasers.

#22 Silicon

Atomic Symbol: Si

Atomic Number: 14

Fun Fact: Steve Jobs’ new liver is entirely made of Silicon.

#21 Einsteinium

Atomic Symbol: Es

Atomic Number: 99

Fun Fact: Einsteinium has no known uses. Awesome!

#20 Xenon

Atomic Symbol: Xe

Atomic Number: 54

Fun Fact: The most popular of the warrior princesses.

#19 Helium

Atomic Symbol: He

Atomic Number: 2

Fun Fact: The manliest of the elements, despite what it does to your voice.

#18 Lead

Atomic Symbol: Pb

Atomic Number: 82

Fun Fact: Not as deadly as Kryptonite, but still quite annoying to Superman.

#17 Krypton

Atomic Symbol: Kr

Atomic Number: 36

Fun Fact: If you have a line on where you can get your hands on some Krypton, I know a Mr. L who will pay top dollar for it.

#16 Chromium

Atomic Symbol: Cr

Atomic Number: 24

Fun Fact: The chief export of Albania.

#15 Nitrogen

Atomic Symbol: N

Atomic Number: 7

Fun Fact: When you combine Nitrogen and Oxygen, it spells no.

#14 Nickel

Atomic Symbol: Ni

Atomic Number: 28

Fun Fact: The word nickel comes from the German word kupfernickel, referring to Satan, or Old Nick’s Copper. Nickel is well known as the most evil of elements.

#13 Hydrogen

Atomic Symbol: H

Atomic Number: 1

Fun Fact: Hydrogen caused this.

#12 Gold

Atomic Symbol: Au

Atomic Number: 79

Fun Fact: Chemically, gold is a transition metal and can form trivalent and univalent cations in solutions. Compared with other metals, pure gold is chemically least reactive, but it is attacked by aqua regia (a mixture of acids), forming chloroauric acid, but not by the individual acids, and by alkaline solutions of cyanide. Gold dissolves in mercury, forming amalgam alloys, but does not react with it. Gold is insoluble in nitric acid, which dissolves silver and base metals. This property is exploited in the gold refining technique known as “inquartation and parting”. Nitric acid has long been used to confirm the presence of gold in items, and this is the origin of the colloquial term “acid test”, referring to a gold standard test for genuine value.

#11 Curium

Atomic Symbol: Cm

Atomic Number: 96

Fun Fact: Invented by Marie Curie after her death. Creepy.

#10 Silver

Atomic Symbol: 47

Atomic Number: Ag

Fun Fact: 10 silver pieces equals one gold piece.

#9 Tungsten

Atomic Symbol: W

Atomic Number: 74

Fun Fact: My first born son is named Tungsten

#8 Sodium

Atomic Symbol: Na

Atomic Number: 11

Fun Fact: My favorite ingredient in freedom fries..

#7 Lithium

Atomic Symbol: Li

Atomic Number: 3

Fun Fact: If you double lithium, you can power a warp drive. If you triple it, you get a powerful explosive.

#6 Carbon

Atomic Symbol: C

Atomic Number: 6

Fun Fact: I don’t know much about this extremely rare element, but it’s got a cool name.

#5 Titanium

Atomic Symbol: Ti

Atomic Number: 22

Fun Fact: A synthetic element named after scientist John Titan.

#4 Mercury

Atomic Symbol: Hg

Atomic Number: 80

Fun Fact: The fastest of the elements, and the messenger of the Gods.

#3 Neptunium

Atomic Symbol: Np

Atomic Number: 93

Fun Fact: The entire planet of Uranus is actually made of Neptunium.

#2 Oxygen

Atomic Symbol: O

Atomic Number: 8

Fun Fact: Oprah Winfrey holds the patent on Oxygen. Don’t piss her off, or she might start charging all of us.

#1 Boron

Atomic Symbol: B

Atomic Number: 5

Fun Fact: The name of my studio was almost Studio B, after Boron, the best of the elements, until I discovered some doofus had already used the name.