Why LOTR Sucks: What I Learned During The Council Scene

1. Boromir is a total jerk, a jerk that is well played by Sean Bean.
2. Dwarves aren’t very bright.
3. Elrond isn’t the only elf with a stick up his ass. I thought elves were supposed to be fun loving and gay.
4. Frodo has a serious migraine.
5. So does Boromir.
6. Dwarves and elves don’t get along.
7. The ring can only be destroyed in the fires of Mordor, which seems like a shitty place to take a vacation.
8. Nothing rallies a group of people together like a Hobbit saying that he’ll take the ring himself.
9. In a movie with a lot of cheesy scenes, this one may be the cheesiest.
10. Hobbits aren’t very bright.

Also, we get three slow motion close ups, and Gandalf may or may not have a tear in his eye, so let’s count this as one slow motion close-up of someone crying.

Minutes Watched: 1:45.39

Number of Montages: 4

Number of slow motion close-ups of people crying: 3

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