The Dinosaur So Nice, They Had To Name It Twice

For the most part Science and I get along well. But sometimes it steps out of line.

Everyone, go to Wikipedia right now*. Look up Brontosaurus. Go ahead, type it in. Make sure you spell it correctly. Then hit return.

Were you as shocked as I was? Science has stolen the Brontosaurus away from us.**

Apparently some stupid fossil hunter in the late nineteenth century discovered a bunch of dinosaur bones. He named this new creature Apatosaurus. Then, a couple years later, he found another, even more awesome skeleton. This one he named Brontosaurus. Some other stupid paleo-jerkoffs pointed out these dinosaurs were the same genus.

Okay fine, whatever, they were using rocks for microscopes back then. The problem is even though Brontosaurus, meaning thunder lizard, is a way cooler name than Apatosaurus, which means deceptive lizard, they decided that since the latter came first, it would be the official name.

Well, guess what dead people? No one cares what you think. Science is not going to take Brontosaurus away from us.*** The next time someone says the name Apatosaurus, punch them in the kidney.****

That is all.

*Finish reading the directions, then go to Wikipedia. For our friends in China, here.

**This rhyme was 100% intentional.

***Again with the rhyming.

****Violence is wrong. I am in no way endorsing the use of violence as a means of conflict resolution. If you have to punch someone in the kidney, be polite about it.

Check out Decater's novel, available now at Amazon. Plus, don't forget his other books: They Both Love Vonnegut, Ahab's Adventures in Wonderland, and Picasso Painted Dinosaurs.