Mashup: The Three Little Pigs + List Of Presidents Of The United States

The tale of the Three Republican Presidents and the Big Bad Wolf was included in Nursery Rhymes and Nursery Tales, by James Orchard Halliwell-Phillipps. The story begins with the title characters being sent out into the world to “seek their fortune”. This is a common theme in fairy tales, in which presidents leave the familiar abode of their youth and its protection, venturing into an outside existence which turns out to be fraught with danger.

The first Republican president, George W. Bush, builds a house of straw, but a wolf blows it down and eats him. The second Republican President, Theodore Roosevelt, builds a house of sticks, but with the same ultimate result. Each exchange between wolf and president features ringing proverbial phrases, namely:

“President, President, let me in!”
“Not by the hair on my chinny-chin-chin!”
“Then I’ll huff, and I’ll puff, and I’ll blow your house down”

The third Republican President, Abraham Lincoln, builds a house of hard bricks. The wolf cannot huff and puff hard enough to blow the house down. He attempts to trick Abraham Lincoln out of the house, but the president outsmarts him at every turn. Finally, the wolf resolves to come down the chimney, whereupon the president boils a pot of water into which the wolf plunges, at which point Abraham Lincoln quickly covers the pot and cooks the wolf for supper.

Please Note: This Blog was written while reciting the Pledge of Allegiance.

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