Tom Sawyer, Huckleberry Finn, And The Founding Of The Republican Party

May 20th, 2010 by thegooddoctor in 100 Words

It was their greatest adventure, convincing voters the best way to preserve the Union was electing two barely literate twelve-year olds from Missouri to the White House.

Their first order of business was war with Canada. “We never liked them Frenchies anyway,” Sawyer later said.

Next was enacting a mandatory deeducation law. According to Finn, “The principates of this here place we call America had best allow young people to be free on all days, not just Saturday.”

When Aunt Polly found them out, they got the worst beatings of their lives. A second term was out of the question.

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