What are you most looking forward to in the coming year? The Super Bowl in Indianapolis? The never-ending election coverage? Trailer #2 for The Hobbit?
Whatever your answer, I’m sure it includes reading The Chaos Factory. We have lots of promising new content coming out in the next calendar year, and we’re pleased to give you a sneak peak of all the fun:
#8 Ugg Boots
Since its inception, The Chaos Factory has been about one thing more than any other: Ugg Boots. We’ve compiled thousands of photos over the past 4 years, and we’ll be posting them all in one blowout extravaganza of boots. If you love Uggs, and the fact that you are reading this blog tells me that you do, you’ll love this post.
When to expect it: Early March
#7 Interview With Barack Obama
Normally, a presidential interview would rank higher, but seeing as Obama’s doomed to be a one termer, it’s not that big of deal.
When to expect it: Late October
#6 Live Updates On My Life
It seems people can’t get enough of my daily life. When I published my daily routine, site traffic went through the roof and I had to add a second server to handle it all*. To keep up with the demand, I’ll be posting more frequent updates on my daily life, including photos of what I’m eating, descriptions of my mood swings, detailed accounts of what I think at all times, etc. Be sure to follow my Twitter feed with up to the minute updates of my most recent blog posts.
When to expect it: Every day, starting January 1st
#5 Coverage Of The 27th Annual Paint Drying Competition
Every August, The Chaos Factory makes its way to Moose Jaw, Saskatchewan for the annual Paint Drying Competition, where the best competitors in the world gather to watch paint dry. This year, the featured color is Silhouette Gray.
When to expect it: Mid-August
The Chaos Factory has a new intern, 15-year-old Sarah Jeffries, and she’ll be sharing her latest poems on a regular basis. Topics will include why Jesse Eisenberg would make the best boyfriend, how much adults suck, love, death, and algebra class.
When to expect it: As Sarah sees fit
#3 Reread Of The Bible
The world’s greatest piece of literature, reread and blogged about. There will be charts to keep track of all the genealogies, long diatribes–with plenty of footnotes–explaining away all of the inconsistencies, and plenty of action as things start to heat up in the New Testament**. I’m especially looking forward to reading Leviticus.
When to expect it: Easter
#2 Breaking News On Unspecified Scandal
At some point in the next year, I will be the first blogger to publish a shocking scandal that will grab the world’s attention. I will cite several unnamed sources to corroborate the story. The scandal will be so startling that it will overwhelm the Internet. People will talk about this scandal on Twitter, post updates on Facebook, and read about it on the cover of People and US magazines. Jay Leno will do a particularly unfunny bit about the scandal in between his first and second guest. People will speculate about the career of the person at the center of the scandal, and many will condemn the lack of a contrite apology. After several weeks, people’s attention will turn to another, equally shocking scandal.
When to expect it: Sometime in 2012
#1 Coming Attractions in 2013
My favorite moment of 2012 comes when I predict what will be my favorite moments of 2013.
When to expect it: Late December
Please Note, this blog post expires at midnight on December 31st, 2011
*Most of this traffic came from James Franco
**Spoiler Alert: Jesus dies before the end