Posts Tagged: Saved By The Bell

Writing — No Comments
26
Feb 10

The Most Fantastic Blog Posts

Sadly, the month of lists is almost over, but the Marmaduke movie keeps getting closer, to the joy of many.

With one of the last lists of the month, I wanted to take a look at my favorite blog on the Internet. My own. A few months ago, I migrated Dance With Sunflowers from blogspot over to The Chaos Factory. This list looks back at the best Dance With Sunflowers posts from before the move. Some of the formatting in these old posts is out of whack, but the insights are just as insightful as ever.

#9 The Best Example You Will Ever Find Of The Phantom Menace Syndrome Apart From The Phantom Menace Itself

Why You Should Read It: Because this was the first time I figured out I could use really long titles. Dinosaur Comics has since stolen my idea.

#8 Are Boots Really The Future Of Footwear?

Why You Should Read It: Seriously. Boots. They are our future.

#7 Conqueror Of The Old Northwest

Why You Should Read It: Because this was my first mailbag.

#6 Don’t Let These Facts About Robber Barons Fool You. They Are True!

Why You Should Read It: Everybody loves facts!

#5 Conscientious Objector

Why You Should Read It: This was my very first blog entry. I don’t know what possessed me to start writing a blog, but I knew that it could not be random reflections on my day to day life. Instead, it is random reflections about the world at large.

#4 The Most Preposterous Pleasurable Pop

Why You Should Read It: It was the very first list, ever.

#3 Francis Bacon And The Sorceror’s Stone

Why You Should Read It: One of my all time favorite posts, representing everything this blog is about, especially the blending together of serious intellectual reflection with the absurd.

#2 Obamania

Why You Should Read It: Because it was incredibly prescient. Just after the election, well before Obama was inaugurated, I wrote the following: “I think people will find that a lot less change will occur than they were hoping for. Obama is a Democrat, and as long as America embraces this two party system, our government will be controlled by a cabal of big business and special interests, with a slight drift from right to left depending on which party is in power. The erosion of our individual rights will continue, and more power and wealth will congregate in fewer hands.” Let’s just say that anyone who is disappointed that Obama has not been progressive enough should have seen it coming.

#1 Vegan Time Traveling

Why You Should Read It: Because it’s the only ethical way to travel through time.

Please note that this blog post was written while watching Olympic curling.

Writing — 1 Comment
12
Dec 08

The Most Preposterous Pleasurable Pop

You may have noticed that people, especially the media, love lists. I certainly have. So in a blatant attempt to drive more readers to my blog, I have come up with my own version of a Top 10 list.

What follow are the 8 greatest TV creations ever conceived. These shows are so deliciously bad, only a true connoisseur of entertainment can even begin to appreciate them.

#8 Boy Meets World:

I think one key to the kind of uber entertainment that cannot fail but become a cultural phenomenon is that there must be little or no sense of reality. The jokes are so bad, the acting so hackneyed, the story lines so shameless in their attempt to manipulate that no one would ever think to themselves “Yes, this is exactly what it’s like to be a teenager.” But at the same time, everything they do must be one hundred percent sincere. Everyone involved thinks they are making a relevant, touching, humorous work of art. Put all these ingredients together, and you end up with Boy Meets World. Best episode: Any one with Corey and Topenga

#7 Land of the Lost:

A show sophisticated enough that Will Ferrell himself is doing the remake, Land of the Lost realized that there was something that people would love even more than dinosaurs, aliens and cavemen. All three of them together. Thanks to a dimensional portal, Rick Marshall and his children stumble into the land of the Sleestak, where danger lurks around every corner and nothing can save you from the seventies fashion menace. Best Episode: The first one with Dopey the Dinosaur.

6. Sabrina The Teenage Witch:

A family of witches. A sarcastic cat. A 1960′s television show transposed onto a teen sitcom. Is it any wonder this show ran for seven years? Mixing the fantasy of Harry Potter with the humor of TGIF, Sabrina showed that even for a witch, when you are a teenager, the most important thing is fitting in. Best episode: The one with Britney

#5 Saved By The Bell: The College Years:

No teen show has ever transitioned more smoothly into college. Zack and AC were growing up, but the show retained the same sensibility that made the original such a classic. Even with the new characters to breathe some freshness into the story lines, the heart of the show was as always the relationship between Zack and Kelly. Best Episode: Their marriage in the final TV movie brought closure to one of the best TV love affairs of all time.

#4 Charles In Charge:

The show went through several transformations. The Pembroke family only lasted one season, as did Charles’ girlfriend, Gwendolyn Pierce. The second season brought the Powells and Charles’ mom. But the most reliable change was that as we grew older, Buddy Lambeck kept growing dumber. And there can be no argument that ‘Charles In Charge’ is the best TV theme song of all time. Favorite episode: The one with Meg Ryan

#3 Small Wonder:

Stellar acting, gee whiz special effects, and cutting edge scripting combined in one definitive moment in the 80′s, resulting in Small Wonder. Even today, you will watch Vicki the Robot and stare in disbelief as you contemplate how something so tremendous could ever have gotten made. Best Episode: The one with Vanessa, the evil robot version of Vicki

#2 Saved By The Bell:

The show started as Good Morning, Miss Bliss, was set in Indianapolis, and included Mr. Belding, Zack Morris, Screech Powers, and Lisa Turtle. Year two saw the whole school move to Bayside High School and witnessed AC Slater, Kelly Kapowski, and Jessie Spano join the cast. In that moment, television history was made. Best Episode: Zack Attack

#1: Days Of Our Lives:

Eternally frustrating, as almost nothing ever happens in any given episode, the greatest television show of all time provides viewers with the ultimate luxury. You can miss weeks, months or even years of episodes in a row, and yet pick up the action again after 15 minutes. Any one who doubts the magnificence of Days need be reminded of only one thing: Marlena was possessed by the devil, until John Black saved her by performing an exorcist. The best part, after 40 years, it is still on the air. Favorite Episodes: The year when Marlena was possessed by the devil.

Lyric of the Day:

It’s my gradual descent
Into a life I never meant
It’s the slow fade of love

“A Man-Me-Then Jim”
-Rilo Kiley

Writing — 3 Comments
8
Nov 08

Pussy Galore


I will forgive the earlier Bond movies their sexism. The first movies were before my time and from a different era. The Pierce Brosnan entries into the franchise verged on the cartoon, and are hard to take seriously. The utter ridiculousness of Denise Richards in The World Is Not Enough has the same comedic pedigree as the best Saved By The Bell episodes.

But the latest Bond incarnation, played by Daniel Craig, models itself after the new Batman and Jason Bourne franchises. They are grittier, more realistic action movies, that value story and character as much as glitz and gadgetry. And in some ways, the new version succeeds in that vein. It has done away with Q. Fight scenes look like they were directed by Paul Greengrass. This is a more human Bond, and the movies focus on his psyche and motivations, and how the mental and physical hardships take their toll.

So it is inexcusable the way they treat the female characters in this movie. We are in the 21st century, not the 1960′s anymore. I have nothing against populating a genre film like this with beautiful actresses. But at least make an attempt to give them some kind of actual character. I have no idea what the main female protagonist’s name was, because her role in the film was nothing more than to give Bond a beautiful sidekick to share in the action. Was she a good actor? I have no idea, because the only acting she had to do was deliver one liners, be frightened of a raging fire, and get angry when the would be dictator attempts to rape her.

Her function in the plot is to want revenge against the would be dictator, while Bond is after the would be oil magnate that is helping the would be dictator to carry out a coup. Nothing we have not seen in countless other Bond films. Why does she want revenge? If you guessed it was because the would be dictator murdered her father in cold blood while she was a child (by burning down their house of course, thus her fear of fire) then you have seen any one of the thousands of other movies that have recycled the exact same plot device.

So her character development is thin, bordering on non-existent. No different then any other Bond movie. At least the wonderful Judi Dench is there, stealing the movie every time she turns up on screen. Of course the weight of her performance, and the nuanced way it builds on her previous appearances in the franchise and adds tremendous depth to a role that really has only a marginal function in the story only draws more attention to the lack of any development in any of the other female characters. But none of this would be unexpected in a movie of this sort.

The real atrocity here, the unpardonable sin committed by this movie, is the climactic showdown between the female protagonist and the would be dictator. It is a brutal scene of sexualized Hollywood violence that happens way too often in movies. The violence is as demoralizing as it is unnecessary. This cardboard cut out of a human being that has done little more in the movie than to provide eye candy for the past hour and a half now must go through the ritualized attempted rape that continually thrusts itself into mainstream Hollywood movies that are generally marketed to young adults around the world. What does that say about the society we live in?

After a few days to reflect on the movie, I realized it was quite poor. Is this really the best they can do?

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