Posts Tagged: Movies


2
Jun 11

The Best Movie Trailer Ever

Jesus Effin’ Christ. You’ve got to be kidding me. I don’t know enough curse words to do this trailer justice*:

Now, I’m as into David Fincher as the next guy. There was Se7en. And Fight Club. And the very under-appreciated Zodiac. And the totally unexpected The Social Network. But this is taking cinema to a whole new stratosphere.

Expect many, many more trailers to look a lot like this in the very near future.

*Any help learning new curse words is always appreciated

Please Note, If you are unable to view this trailer, it’s because the friggin’ studio took it down. God forbid I be allowed to do free promotion for them.


25
Sep 10

Examples Of Bad Scriptwriting With Christopher Nolan

I think it’s fair to say that the most talked about film of the summer has been Inception. Currently it sports a very healthy 87% positive rating on Rotten Tomatoes. Undoubtedly, people walk out of the theater and feel an irresistible urge to break down what it was all about. Part of the response stems from the ambiguous ending. But I suspect the even more salient factor is its cluttered narrative that leaves the audience in suspense, not by design, but by default.

My favorite commentary on the movie so far comes from David Edelstein. He writes, “For the record, I wanted to surrender to this dream; I didn’t want to be out in the cold, alone. But I truly have no idea what so many people are raving about. It’s as if someone went into their heads while they were sleeping and planted the idea that Inception is a visionary masterpiece and—hold on … Whoa! I think I get it. The movie is a metaphor for the power of delusional hype—a metaphor for itself.

In the first of a series on bad screenwriting, let’s examine various mistakes Nolan made in writing Inception, and how they might have been avoided:

#1 Unclear Action

Let me begin by pointing out that unclear action might just as easily be the fault of the director. With out having a script in hand, it’s hard to know where to lay the blame when the action becomes muddled on screen. But in this case, since Nolan is both writer and director, we can ignore the distinction.

Do you remember the fight scenes in the original Tim Burton Batman? There was a certain balletic quality to watching Michael Keaton dip and swerve as he climbed his way up the bell tower to his final rendezvous with the Joker. The fights may not have been realistic, but they were fun to watch, and the audience knew exactly what was going on.

Compare that climactic scene to a scene in The Dark Knight. Christian Bale employs some vaguely defined echolocation technology that allows him to use cell phones to discern the difference between the Joker’s henchman and the hostages. As Batman goes on the offensive, the audience never has a clear picture of the action, what with all the darkness and quick cutaways. It’s just random gunfire and shots of Batman taking out the bad guys.

Herein lies a filmmaker’s dilemma: it is very difficult to stage a realistic fight scene where one individual takes on multiple foes. You could have something like a Bruce Lee movie, where all the bad guys stand around in a circle, with only one or two attacking at a time, always in a steady succession, allowing Lee to take care of them in order. Or you could go the campy route, as with the Adam West Batman. Both offer a certain appeal in their own way, but both are very clearly fantasy. And neither of those situations involve automatic weapons. That’s why so many of today’s filmmaker’s rely on rapid fire editing that prevents the audience from ever having a clear overview of the action.

There’s no easy solution. It’s not easy staging a scene like the bank robbery in Heat, where DeNiro and the gang escape from a platoon of police officers, and make it look realistic. It takes a ton of planning, foresight, and imagination. So it’s no wonder that even in 160 million dollar productions such as Inception, you end up with scenes as in arctic dream layer. Everyone is dressed in heavy white coats, making it nearly impossible to identify the characters. The cuts come so quickly, you really have no idea what’s going on. It’s all pomp and circumstance, noise and gunfire. How can their be any tension if you don’t even know who is who? It truly is the MTV style of film making.

Lesson: Unless you are trying to capture the chaos of battle by filming trench warfare at night, make sure you plan any action sequences very carefully. Even the Normandy Invasion in Saving Private Ryan was easier to follow than some of the scenes in Inception.

#2 Unclear Narrative

Quick, someone explain to me how shared dreaming functions? What are the rules that govern multiple layers of dreams? What happens to you if you die in a dream within a dream? How does a kick work? And once you’ve clarified all that, please explain to me how it ties into the last hour of Inception, because I’ve seen the movie twice, and I’m still confused.

The irony is that Inception, two hours and forty minutes in length, spends at least a good hour and a half setting up how inception works. Yet for all of that, as the movie builds to its climax, its hard to say exactly what is happening. Here are some more questions I still have: Why is it necessary for Fischer to go into the final dream layer? How does limbo work? What was the original plan for inception (prior to learning the Fischer was prepared to defend himself from intruders)?

Normally when you have an unclear narrative, you can bet that there’s a whole slew of plot holes being covered up. I expect you can already find plenty of websites and blogs dedicated to pointing them out for Inception. I’ll leave it to Google to handle most of them, but I can’t help but mention one that strikes me as among the most unforgivable.

The timing of the different dream layers is made very clear. They will be in the first layer for a matter of hours, in the second layer for a matter of months, and in the third layer for a matter of years (I forget the exact figures). So they expected to be in the third layer for years and years. Yet for this third layer of dreaming, they concocted the simplest architecture, a guarded fortress in a frozen wasteland. They were planning to spend decades there? What were they going to do with all that time?

In truth, they should have planned the most elaborate possible setting for this layer. And think of all the possibilities. Nolan could have created a great drama by centering the movie around this third layer of dreaming. The characters could have fashioned new lives for themselves, especially Ariadne, who did not have much experience with dreaming yet. Most of the interactions with Mal and Cobb could have taken place at this level. As the years went by, the characters could have lost track of their objective, creating endless opportunities for heightened tension and conflict. Plus, all of this action could have been parallel to the events on the second level, which needed to cover several months, and the first layer, which would elapse over a matter of hours. The characters on each level would need to coordinate their efforts to match the other levels. All kinds of tension would be possible.

Instead, in the last half hour of the film, the events in layer 2 and 3 seem to happen in almost the same time frame. Not only are the opportunities for an elaborate narrative lost, but the movie as is can’t even follow its own rules.

What we get instead is Superman’s Fortress of Solitude guarded by a host of faceless projections. I just can’t realistically believe that this is what these expert dreamweavers would have come up with for the deepest and most enduring dream layer. It would be worse than limbo.

Lesson: If you can’t keep track of your plot, rather than try to fool the audience by covering it up with confusion, start over. Especially if you spent ten years on writing the script!

#3 Lack Of Motivation For Characters

It’s Screenwriting 101. Characters need to have motivation for their actions. Otherwise, they are just pawns being pushed here and there. Now, losing a few pawns will not cost you the game, but a good player will make sure every one of her pieces count, even the least important. So let’s look at the characters in Inception and figure out how they fit in.

Cobb His motivation is very clear, to return to the United States to be with his family. Complicating matters even further, he must also come to grips with the guilt he feels for his wife’s death.

Saito His early motivation is subtle, but if you listen to the dialogue carefully, you know that in the first dream sequences he is testing Cobb to see if he’s good enough to carry out an inception. It is later revealed his main motivation is to convince Fischer to break up his father’s company.

Fischer His motivation is to come to terms with his relationship with his father.

Miles His motivation is less easy to discern, but we can approximate it as concern for Cobb’s and his grandchildren’s well being. (One theory is that he instructed Ariadne to help bring Cobb back to reality.)

After that, the motivations start to break down.

Ariadne Her motivation is presented simply as she really gets a kick out of dream architecture. Then, apparently, she grows attached to Cobb and/or scared of Cobb, and wants to help him for altruistic purposes, or because she’s trying to save herself and the others.

Josef We are told that he is taking part in the plan because of Cobb’s extra share, as that is the only way the dangers would be worth pursuing. Except he already knew about the dangers involved with three layers of dreaming. When he is first introduced, it is specifically made clear that his job will be to provide the sedative to make three layers of dream possible. So apparently he had agreed to take part even before he was offered a double share.

Eames We can infer that he is taking part because he needs the money.

Arthur Despite being one of the main characters, no credible motivation is given for his character. Is he acting out of concern for Cobb? Is he greedy? Does he just love what he does? Is he in love with Ariadne? There’s nothing. Arthur is a completely blank slate.

Mal Because she is only seen as a projection of Cobb’s psyche, her motivations are necessarily suspect (which is fine). It seems that the projection of Mal wants Cobb to stay with him in limbo.

That’s it. I think I’ve right and properly summed up every bit of character motivation in the whole movie. I would think that if you want to have a serious psychological thriller, you would need to have characters with some measure of depth. Yet that’s not the case.

My take on the movie is the reason it seems so ambiguous isn’t because it was so well constructed as to allow multiple interpretations. Rather, it was so poorly constructed as to never be clear what it’s about. The majority of the movie is empty action or exposition. Only a small percentage of the dialogue is devoted to character. Most of it takes place between Cobb and Mal, or Cobb and Ariadne. The subplot with Fischer and the relationship with his father is completely straightforward, unoriginal, and I think very transparently in the movie only so there is a reason for inception in the first place.

Lesson: If you want to write a decent script, create strong characters.

Here’s what is especially galling about Inception. Nolan has proven himself a very creative, original screenwriter. Compare Inception to both Memento and The Prestige. These earlier Nolan movies both revolved around a mystery. Memento has the main character searching for his wife’s murderer. The Prestige (screenplay by Nolan, but based upon the novel by Christopher Priest) has two dueling magicians trying to figure out how the other managed their ultimate illusion. Both stories fit together like a puzzle. In both, the ending sends the audience back multiple times to assemble all the pieces.

Both movies have interesting, complex characters that evolve over the course of the narrative. Both create confusion for the audience, but make everything clear upon the ending. Subsequent viewings do not create a steady stream of plot holes for the viewer, but reveal tiny clues and hints that were missed the first time. Compared to these previous Nolan efforts, Inception is a cluttered piece of junk.

Perhaps the line I find most representative of the movie as a whole comes right after the crew enters the first dream layer with Fischer. His subconscious has started to fight against them, and they are in danger of being killed and trapped in limbo. They decide they have no choice but to keep charging forward. It’s the same with this movie. It charges forward like an out of control locomotive. It manages to keep building suspense, not through the conflicts of the characters or the intricacies of the plot, but simply through the momentum created by the question of what is dream and what is reality.

I went into my second viewing armed with a clue. I was to watch out for Cobb’s wedding ring. He is always wearing it inside a dream. He’s not wearing it “in the real world.” It is exactly the kind of detail that helped add nuance and depth to Memento and The Prestige. Unfortunately, for Inception, the wedding ring merely points out what should have already been clear anyway. After the first time I saw Inception, I walked out of the theater suspecting it would be one of those movies that doesn’t hold up upon later viewings.

My second viewing proved that surmise was correct.

Please note: this blog is entirely a dream within a dream.


18
Feb 10

The Top Chinese Actors

Thanks to Zhang Yimou, Chen Kaige, and Wong Kar-Wai, Chinese cinema has grown increasingly popular over the last decade. The irony of course is that any mainland movie that finds success overseas is lambasted at home for catering to a Western Audience. And don’t ask a Chinese woman what she thinks about Zhang Ziyi, unless you want to be lectured for the next hour.

You may not realize how many sensational Chinese actors there are, because when they cross over to Hollywood they star in movies like Miami Vice and Rush Hour 3. But you can’t go wrong with these actors in their native language:

#11 Michelle Yeo

Best Movie: Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon

#10 Chow Yun-Fat

Best Movie: Hard Boiled

#9 Jet Li

Best Movie: Fist Of Legend

#8 Andy Lau

Best Movie: Infernal Affairs

#7 Jackie Chan

Best Movie: Rumble In The Bronx

#6 Gong Li

Best Movie: Raise The Red Lantern

#5 Bruce Lee

Best Movie: Enter The Dragon

#4 Wang Fei

Best Movie: Chungking Express

#3 Tony Leung

Best Movie: In The Mood For Love

#2 This Guy

Best Movie: Blade Runner

#1 Maggie Chung

Best Movie: In The Mood For Love


9
Feb 10

The Best Buddy Cop Movies

It all started with a mash-up of the Keystone Cops with Laurel and Hardy. Today, the buddy cop genre has become one of the most beloved in all of cinema. Unfortunately, it’s also the one most likely to produce a Rush Hour 3. With Valentine’s Day coming up, I thought it would be fun to look over the best Buddy Cop Movies of all time.*

#6 Cop Out

I’ve only seen the trailer, but that’s enough to qualify for our list. Speaking of Tracy Morgan, now’s a good time to look back at his infamous appearance on KVIA.

#5 48 Hours

Remember when Eddie Murphy was still funny? Remember when Nick Nolte wasn’t crazy? No? Well the eighties were a very different time. This clip is not safe for work or small children.

#4 Bad Boys

Number 4 on our list here, but number one on the list of Michael Bay films.

#3 Tango & Cash

The reason this one works so well is because Stallone is the nerdy cop. He’s totally playing against type. The movie is messing with audience expectations. It’s brilliant. I don’t know how many Oscars it won, but it must have been at least 100.

#2 Lethal Weapon

You may have noticed that this list has been carefully compiled to include an equal number of black and white cops. All because Lethal Weapon made it a necessity to pair together two police officers who are as opposite as possible.

Pro Tip for College Students: Take a drink every time Danny Glover says “I’m too old for this shit.”

#1 Running Scared

Sadly, with all the lousy movies that have made multiple sequels, you have one of the best movies of all time, and they never thought to make a follow-up. But check out the car phone in this clip.

*Not all of these movies have homo-erotic undertones as obvious as Rush Hour, but I have included them anyway


2
Jan 10

The Countdown Begins

Everyone’s favorite comic strip is now being made into a live-action movie. That’s right, Marmaduke hits theaters June 4, 2010, and it promises to be the Hollywood event of the summer. Not since Transformers 2 has a film been more hotly anticipated.

For the toddlers out there who have never heard of him, Marmaduke is a Great Dane who lives with his owners, the Winslow family. Because of his immense size, he always manages to cause trouble, both at home and in the neighborhood. The strip has been running daily for the past 55 years. 55! This leads to one of the following explanations:

  • A) Brad Anderson uses the same rejuvenation techniques as Mr. Burns.
  • B) Marmaduke is actually ghost-written and drawn by John Grisham, Inc.
  • C) Marmaduke was created by ENIAC, the world’s first supercomputer*
  • Whatever his origins, the news of Marmaduke’s silver screen treatment is making me giddy. Owen Wilson voices Marmaduke, with supporting roles played by William H. Macy, Steve Coogan, Fergie, Damon Wayans, and Michael Jackson in his last performance before his death.

    Fans of the OC will especially enjoy the trailer:

    The Chaos Factory will be bringing you regular updates all the way to the June 4 release of Marmaduke.

    *The answer is C


8
Dec 09

Roland Emmerich: Master Of Disaster

hindenburg disasterIn the much maligned genre of disaster film, Roland Emmerich has been the most maligned of all. But Emmerich has wreaked his revenge on all the naysayers with his latest film, 2012. I can safely say it is the most ridiculously preposterous movie of all time. I loved it. I urge everyone to see it for themselves.

In creating 2012, Emmerich’s career has come full circle. After making one of the seminal movies of my youth, that one where he blew up the White House*, Emmerich’s career swiftly dipped into seeming self-parody. Yet 2012 is so extremely ludicrous that it actually succeeds to entertain where his previous films merely served up mild annoyance and the occasional unintentional chuckle. I can say for certain their is absolutely nothing unintentional about his latest outing.

To enjoy 2012 with the proper perspective, it is perhaps necessary to trace the evolution of Emmerich as a director:

independance day posterThe quintessence of the modern disaster movie, Independence Day pioneers the now obligatory destruction of a beloved world landmark. All the better for being married to an alien flick as well. So what if there were a few plot holes? What did it matter when you had a president willing to fly into battle and Will Smith wisecracking his way into saving the planet? 7 on a scale of 10.
godzillaAfter the success of Independence Day, expectations were high for the remake of Godzilla. It would turn out to be one of the most disappointing follow ups of all time, not quite as devastating as what Jackson did with King Kong, but close. Everyone is allowed one major screw up in their career (Superman Returns anyone?), but Emmerich would need to hit his next film out of the park to win his way back into our good graces after this debacle. 4 out of 10
day after tomorrow posterFollowing a partial return to form in The Patriot--really a Mel Gibson production rather than a Roland Emmerich disaster film--next up was The Day After Tomorrow. The world was introduced to a new movie villain, faster than Danny Boyle zombies, more sinister than the The Wicker Man pagans: climate change. The movie was laughable for its twisted science, juvenile plot, poor effects, and Dennis Quaid. An Emmerich movie was no longer an event, but literally, a disaster. 2 out of 10
10000-bc-posterDespite its terrible reviews, The Day After Tomorrow grossed over half a billion dollars. Still the poor reception somehow managed to keep Emmerich out of work for four years. His return, the even more disappointing 10,000 B.C. A mash up of Apocalypto with Erik The Viking, you have a prehistoric man who goes from fighting sabretooth tigers to building pyramids for the Pharaoh. I'm not even making this up. 1 out of 10
2012-movie-posterA more modest filmmaker might have, after being responsible for such a bomb, decided to move in a new direction. The genius of Emmerich yet again shows itself in his latest film, as 2012 offers a form of apology for his previous movies. He is telling the audience, "I'm sorry. I did not go far enough. Let me atone by completely abandoning all pretense of realism and credibility. Let me sacrifice Renoir on a superradiated altar of the Earth's crust, and wash him away with an Everest sized tidal wave." In so doing, Emmerich trumps his closest competitor, Michael Bay, in the race to create the most inanely satisfactory movie of all time. 8 out of 10

*No presidential residences were actually harmed in the making of the film


3
Sep 09

We Love The Ordinals

We are irate with Wired Magazine right now. Normally one of our favorite magazines, they have failed miserably when it comes to to their list of the greatest science fiction movies of all time.

They have a comprehensive list of movies, but its lack of ordinals means that we have no actual context.

Imagine you are sitting around with friends, and the following conversation occurs:

“I’m in the mood for some science fiction.”

“Sounds good. What should we watch.”

“Nothing too awesome. But it needs to be mildly fantastic.”

“I agree. How about the 8th greatest science fiction movie of all time.”

Simple right? Except how are you supposed to know what the 8th greatest science fiction movie of all time is if magazines like Wired fail to inform you.

I have been forced to interrupt my list of the best webcomics in order to quickly rectify the situation. What follows are the 14 Greatest Science Fiction Movies In The Known Multiverse:

#14 The Road Warrior

With The Road Warrior at #14, we don’t have to wait to use the word dystopian.

#13 The Iron Giant

All of you who failed to see this in the theater, shame on you. It’s because of poor choices like this that we end up with Transformers II and G-Force 3-D (Just wait).

#12 Back To The Future

Does for time traveling what The Time Traveler’s Wife does for the spouses of time travelers.

#11 Aliens

Can anyone think of a better sequel in which a new director entered, transformed it according to his own personal vision, and then left the franchise to make the highest grossing movie of all time?

#10 2001: A Space Odyssey

The original was better, but Kubrick gets extra points for spawning the Macintosh commercial.

#9 Terminator

Featuring the first, and most certainly the best, of the Governator’s one-liners.

#8 E.T.: The Extra-Terrestrial

I especially appreciate that Spielburg took the time to explain the title, in the title.

#7 Terminator 2

Some people like the original better. They are wrong.

#6 Blade Runner

I always found the most frightening part of Blade Runner the giant advertisements overlooking the city like the corporate eyes of Sauron. How sad that it would also be the most prescient.

#5 Alien

A Hitchcock homage set in outer space.

#4 The Matrix

For about a 6 week period, Keanu Reeves was actually considered cool.

#3 Return Of The Jedi

Just because the prequels sucked doesn’t mean the originals did too.

#2 Star Wars

It forever changed not only the genre of science fiction, but the entire movie industry. And like a true first love, we had our collective hearts broken in 1999.

#1 The Empire Strikes Back

Not just the greatest science fiction film, but the most fantabulous 124 minutes ever committed to celluloid.

Lyric Of The Day:

I look out of my window at night
I see the stars and I’m filled with fright
I got a feeling someone’s looking
It ain’t the aliens at the foot of my bed
It’s more the ale inside my head
I got a feeling something’s cooking

Science friction burns my fingers
Electricity still lingers
Hey put away that ray, how do you martians say
I love you

I read my comics from front to back
I’ll be ready for any attack
I got a feeling someone’s looking

“Science Friction”
-XTC


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