Posts Tagged: Barack Obama

Writing — 2 Comments
29
Dec 11

The Top 8 Most Anticipated Blog Posts Of 2012

What are you most looking forward to in the coming year? The Super Bowl in Indianapolis? The never-ending election coverage? Trailer #2 for The Hobbit?

Whatever your answer, I’m sure it includes reading The Chaos Factory. We have lots of promising new content coming out in the next calendar year, and we’re pleased to give you a sneak peak of all the fun:

#8 Ugg Boots

Since its inception, The Chaos Factory has been about one thing more than any other: Ugg Boots. We’ve compiled thousands of photos over the past 4 years, and we’ll be posting them all in one blowout extravaganza of boots. If you love Uggs, and the fact that you are reading this blog tells me that you do, you’ll love this post.

When to expect it: Early March

#7 Interview With Barack Obama

Normally, a presidential interview would rank higher, but seeing as Obama’s doomed to be a one termer, it’s not that big of deal.

When to expect it: Late October

#6 Live Updates On My Life

It seems people can’t get enough of my daily life. When I published my daily routine, site traffic went through the roof and I had to add a second server to handle it all*. To keep up with the demand, I’ll be posting more frequent updates on my daily life, including photos of what I’m eating, descriptions of my mood swings, detailed accounts of what I think at all times, etc. Be sure to follow my Twitter feed with up to the minute updates of my most recent blog posts.

When to expect it: Every day, starting January 1st

#5 Coverage Of The 27th Annual Paint Drying Competition

Every August, The Chaos Factory makes its way to Moose Jaw, Saskatchewan for the annual Paint Drying Competition, where the best competitors in the world gather to watch paint dry. This year, the featured color is Silhouette Gray.

When to expect it: Mid-August

#4 Poetry

The Chaos Factory has a new intern, 15-year-old Sarah Jeffries, and she’ll be sharing her latest poems on a regular basis. Topics will include why Jesse Eisenberg would make the best boyfriend, how much adults suck, love, death, and algebra class.

When to expect it: As Sarah sees fit

#3 Reread Of The Bible

The world’s greatest piece of literature, reread and blogged about. There will be charts to keep track of all the genealogies, long diatribes–with plenty of footnotes–explaining away all of the inconsistencies, and plenty of action as things start to heat up in the New Testament**. I’m especially looking forward to reading Leviticus.

When to expect it: Easter

#2 Breaking News On Unspecified Scandal

At some point in the next year, I will be the first blogger to publish a shocking scandal that will grab the world’s attention. I will cite several unnamed sources to corroborate the story. The scandal will be so startling that it will overwhelm the Internet. People will talk about this scandal on Twitter, post updates on Facebook, and read about it on the cover of People and US magazines. Jay Leno will do a particularly unfunny bit about the scandal in between his first and second guest. People will speculate about the career of the person at the center of the scandal, and many will condemn the lack of a contrite apology. After several weeks, people’s attention will turn to another, equally shocking scandal.

When to expect it: Sometime in 2012

#1 Coming Attractions in 2013

My favorite moment of 2012 comes when I predict what will be my favorite moments of 2013.

When to expect it: Late December

Please Note, this blog post expires at midnight on December 31st, 2011

*Most of this traffic came from James Franco

**Spoiler Alert: Jesus dies before the end

Writing — No Comments
20
Jul 11

Rumors: New Obama Coming In Time For The Holidays

We know, we know: Everyone is sick of the next-generation Obama reports based upon nothing but hearsay from anonymous sources. We’re sick of it, too — we’d rather be writing about current candidates based upon concrete sources. But there are enough of you out there who apparently love to parse through the ups, downs, ins and outs of White House rumors that we can’t help but give you the latest Pennsylvania Avenue gossip. So here goes: the Democratic Party will allegedly release a “low-cost” Obama in late summer, according to a report from BRG‘s Jonathan Gellar.

The less-expensive Obama will reportedly cost $350, without a contract. (The Democrats currently sell an unlocked Obama 4 starting at $649.) The upgrade will purportedly either launch, or “at least be announced” by late-August, early-September.

Now, this doesn’t necessarily mean that Democrats plan to release a new low-cost Obama, rumors about which have been swirling around for months. It’s entirely possible that the less-expensive Obama option will in fact be the Obama 3GS, which makes complete sense to us as the most likely viable option for the Democrats, who many financial experts say need to make headway in the lower-end markets in order to compete with the growing threat of the Republican Party.

When it comes to the next-generation Obama, however, the news is even less clear. First of all, we have no idea what it’s even going to be called, though either “Obama 4S” or “Obama 5″ remain the most likely candidates. It’s also entirely unclear what the new model will look like. Some say it will look almost exactly like the Obama 4; others claim a radical redesign is in store. (Gellar’s source says it’s unlikely that we’ll see the totally new design this time around since we haven’t seen a single leaked suit that would fit a redesigned Obama.)

As always, all of this is entirely speculation. And with August coming up fast, it’s really not surprising that the Obama rumor mill is in full-gear.

Please Note: This blog is not responsible for any content on this site. It was totally generated by evil monkeys. The same evil monkeys staring at you through the window right now!

Writing — No Comments
6
Jul 11

Conspiracy Theory

This comes to us from the New Yorker:

In the summer of 1660, an Englishman named William Harrison vanished on a walk, near the village of Charingworth, in Gloucestershire. His bloodstained hat was soon discovered on the side of a local road. Police interrogated Harrison’s servant, John Perry, and eventually Perry gave a statement that his mother and his brother had killed Harrison for money. Perry, his mother, and his brother were hanged. Two years later, Harrison reappeared. He insisted, fancifully, that he had been abducted by a band of criminals and sold into slavery. Whatever happened, one thing was indisputable: he had not been murdered by the Perrys.

Nearly two hundred years later, William Henry Harrison was elected president of the United States. He served in office for exactly 32 days, when he died due to complications from pneumonia. Not only was he the first President to die in office, but he was also the oldest president to be elected until Ronald Reagan in 1980.

35 years on, another William Harrison, this one better known to the world as Billy the Kid, terrorized New Mexico as a gun-slinging outlaw. He and his gang of Regulators stormed around Lincoln County committing various travesties against the good citizens of the region. He was eventually shot in the back by Sheriff Pat Garrett.

Could it be a coincidence that these three William Harrisons died under mysterious, often controversial, circumstances more than 200 years apart? Or were all three William Harrisons the same man, an immortal alien who is hiding among us?

Obviously the answer is the latter, and I have decided to dedicate all my time and savings to proving that the U.S. Government, at the behest of Barack Obama, has been leading a cover up.

I will not rest until the truth is revealed.

Please Note: This blog is offering a cash money reward for information regarding the current whereabouts of William Harrison.

Writing — No Comments
26
Feb 10

The Most Fantastic Blog Posts

Sadly, the month of lists is almost over, but the Marmaduke movie keeps getting closer, to the joy of many.

With one of the last lists of the month, I wanted to take a look at my favorite blog on the Internet. My own. A few months ago, I migrated Dance With Sunflowers from blogspot over to The Chaos Factory. This list looks back at the best Dance With Sunflowers posts from before the move. Some of the formatting in these old posts is out of whack, but the insights are just as insightful as ever.

#9 The Best Example You Will Ever Find Of The Phantom Menace Syndrome Apart From The Phantom Menace Itself

Why You Should Read It: Because this was the first time I figured out I could use really long titles. Dinosaur Comics has since stolen my idea.

#8 Are Boots Really The Future Of Footwear?

Why You Should Read It: Seriously. Boots. They are our future.

#7 Conqueror Of The Old Northwest

Why You Should Read It: Because this was my first mailbag.

#6 Don’t Let These Facts About Robber Barons Fool You. They Are True!

Why You Should Read It: Everybody loves facts!

#5 Conscientious Objector

Why You Should Read It: This was my very first blog entry. I don’t know what possessed me to start writing a blog, but I knew that it could not be random reflections on my day to day life. Instead, it is random reflections about the world at large.

#4 The Most Preposterous Pleasurable Pop

Why You Should Read It: It was the very first list, ever.

#3 Francis Bacon And The Sorceror’s Stone

Why You Should Read It: One of my all time favorite posts, representing everything this blog is about, especially the blending together of serious intellectual reflection with the absurd.

#2 Obamania

Why You Should Read It: Because it was incredibly prescient. Just after the election, well before Obama was inaugurated, I wrote the following: “I think people will find that a lot less change will occur than they were hoping for. Obama is a Democrat, and as long as America embraces this two party system, our government will be controlled by a cabal of big business and special interests, with a slight drift from right to left depending on which party is in power. The erosion of our individual rights will continue, and more power and wealth will congregate in fewer hands.” Let’s just say that anyone who is disappointed that Obama has not been progressive enough should have seen it coming.

#1 Vegan Time Traveling

Why You Should Read It: Because it’s the only ethical way to travel through time.

Please note that this blog post was written while watching Olympic curling.

Writing — No Comments
14
May 09

Voice Of The Small Town


There’s a culture war taking place in America. Obama’s election exemplified the two sides. I am not talking about black versus white, or the majority against the various minorities and immigrants that populate our country. In the war I am talking about, you have on one side the liberal, the urbane, the well educated. On the other, you have the conservative, the religious and rural, the working class. If you are the former, and in your 20′s or 30′s, you probably listen to bands like Radiohead and Beck. You listen to Johnny Cash not because he was a great, prolific country star since the 60′s, but because he did a chilling version of a Nine Inch Nails song. You do not listen to John Mellencamp, Cougar in his name or otherwise.

You should.

In an unfortunate, though predictable, apotheosis to his remarkably enduring career, Mellencamp will probably be best remembered as the guy singing in that Chevy commercial. A great piece of advertising for Chevy trucks, but an unflattering testimonial for someone that should be remembered not only as one of our generation’s greatest songwriters, but also as a cultural pioneer. There is a lot more to John Mellancamp, both lyrically and politically, than “Little Pink Houses.”

Mellencamp is most familiar for his heartland rock anthems, songs like “Jack and Diane,” “Authority Song,” and “Hurts So Good.” His smalltown roots–he was born in Seymour, Indiana–and his celebration of lives lived on farms, next to churches, and outside the Tastee Freeze mark him as something of a hick. Many consider him a primary listening choice for white trash, perhaps at best a poor man’s Bruce Springstein.

To argue differently, to point out that he is an accomplished singer songwriter in the tradition of Bob Dylan, Woody Guthrie, and Willie Nelson, to proffer the numerous examples of his later work that eschew commercial hits for a more personal and experimental sound, or to suggest the simple act of surviving the musical graveyard that was the 80′s marks him as having at least some measure of worth may all be besides the point. Appreciating music is obviously a personal experience. We like what we like.

But whether or not you like his music, Mellencamp should be celebrated for more than just his songs. Because of the success of “Our Country”, and his association with rural America, because of his celebration of the working class, and the rural farmer, it would be easy to dismiss Mellencamp in the same class as, say, Lynard Skynard or Def Leppard. There are some very significant reasons why he should not be.

First, his 1987 music video for Cherry Bomb, off the album “The Lonesome Jubilee,” was the first music video to feature an interracial couple on screen together.* Since then, Mellencamp’s videos have regularly been an interracial affair, and despite facing criticism from his record company and receiving hate mail and death threats, he has persevered in his commitment to addressing racial issues.

In another vein, ever since the 1985 album “Scarecrow,” Mellencamp has been a vocal advocate for the family farmer. Along with Neil Young and Willie Nelson, Mellencamp is a founding member of the FarmAid series of concerts, an annual event to raise money and awareness for small family farms across the country. To date, the organization has raised over 33 million dollars for the cause.

Growing up in Indiana, albeit the somewhat metropolitan Indianapolis, I was predisposed to being a John Mellencamp fan. While attending a tiny college in the South of the state, I went to school with a number of classmates from small towns. My freshman year roommate was from Paris, Indiana, and a huge Mellencamp fan. One of my fraternity brothers was from Seymour, and would have fit perfectly in one of his songs, a fun loving drinker that was more liable to wind up in a bar fight than actually graduating. One of my best friends grew up on a pig farm in Newcastle.

It might seem like my college experience was unrefined, that it was overly colloquial, but I view it differently. It was one of my first opportunities to really experience a different reality, to be immersed in an environment with people from disparate backgrounds and world views. Its a perspective of which I think many urbanites have little practical understanding.

Listening to John Mellencamp reminds me that it is never wise to fall prey to stereotypes, that America, that our whole world in fact, brings together a myriad of viewpoints and experiences. We should celebrate life at its best and most beautiful, and at its worst. Life can be hard and cruel and unfair, but we soldier on the best we can because we are human.

And sometimes its okay to like a song even if it is in a car commercial.

*I am not one hundred percent that it was the first, but I have a strong recollection of that being the case when “Cherry Bomb” came out. I tried to find confirmation online, but could find no information either way

Lyric Of The Day:

Bobby Doll and Big Jim Picato
Call me up every single day
They don’t work and they don’t want to
Come on down to some damn cafe

Bobby Doll tells me
Live in the moment
Don’t get too far ahead-
Don’t live in the past
I blink my eyes
And the moment is over
I guess another day
Has passed

But it’s just another day
It’s just another day
Watching girls on the street
Well, that alright with me
But it’s just another day

Bobby Doll and Big Jim Picato
Always there with their free advice
They’ve got pearl handled pistols
Under their vests
They want me to go out drinking
With them tonight

“Just Another Day”
-John Mellencamp

Writing — No Comments
18
Nov 08

Only Sixteen Percent

The election of Barack Obama was indeed historic, and means a lot to Americans and the World in terms equality of the races. But had Clinton been elected, having a female president-elect would have been just as historic, if not more so.

The NY Times just highlighted this editorial from 1992 about Hillary Clinton as the new first lady. The most striking aspect of the article to me is how little has changed in the past 16 years.

Some quick facts: Women hold 87, or 16.3%, of the 535 seats in the 110th US Congress — 16, or 16.0%, of the 100 seats in the Senate and 71, or 16.3%, of the 435 seats in the House of Representatives. This under representation of women in elected offices is shocking, especially considering how little attention is paid to the discrepancy by the media. In a fair and equal society, our elected officials would be fifty percent women.

Women did not gain the right to vote in the United States until 1920. African Americans gained the right to vote in 1870. Will we have to wait another fifty years before we have a female president of the United States?

Writing — 7 Comments
6
Nov 08

Obamania


I am glad that Obama will be president. In terms of civil rights, and what it means for minorities not only in America, but throughout the world, his election provides a powerful signal we are moving closer to equality.

In terms of politics, there is only one issue which substantially stands out for me. Obama came out strongly against the invasion of Iraq from the very beginning. I respect that. But that stance alone would not have been enough for me to vote for him. One other policy proposal I have heard from him that appeals to me is his proposal to help provide scholarships for anyone who does public service, whether in the Peace Corps, the Military, etc.

Overall, although Obama is closer to what I stand for than McCain, I do not really think that he is any closer to representing me than Clinton was. I think he will continue the same types of economic policies that we had in the nineties. I think he will support giving more power to big business. I think more money will be funnelled to environmental and energy causes, but it will still be done by government subsidies that favor the powerful.

What I am really curious about is what all the fuss has been about. Why is everyone so crazy for Obama? Is it just because of race? That part I can certainly understand. But I think beyond the issue of race, the real factor here is not so much Obama, but just how terrible Bush was as a president. He alienated so many people that now everyone has latched onto Obama as someone who will really bring changes to Washington. In terms of Iraq, and our international standing, these changes will be obvious. But any Democrat would have brought the same kinds of change. So what other changes will Obama bring? He certainly has not made that clear yet, and people seem to be following him with a kind of blind hope that his election really will mean a new America.

I do not see it. I think people will find that a lot less change will occur than they were hoping for. Obama is a Democrat, and as long as America embraces this two party system, our government will be controlled by a cabal of big business and special interests, with a slight drift from right to left depending on which party is in power. The erosion of our individual rights will continue, and more power and wealth will congregate in fewer hands.

I really think the people who just voted for Obama should take a serious look at the Green party or another third party that might be more aligned with their personal outlook. This country needs more plurality in its political system. Badly.

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