{"id":969,"date":"2010-09-27T16:42:24","date_gmt":"2010-09-27T08:42:24","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/entropy2.com\/?p=969"},"modified":"2013-11-15T09:37:38","modified_gmt":"2013-11-15T01:37:38","slug":"totally-ate-banana","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/entropy2.com\/chaosfactory\/2010\/09\/totally-ate-banana\/","title":{"rendered":"I Totally Ate A Banana"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a>This afternoon, I totally ate a banana that was sitting on my desk. I mean, I fucking ate it. You might have seen someone eat a banana before. Perhaps you’ve even eaten a banana yourself. But never have you seen a banana get eaten the way I ate this banana.<\/p>\n

Seriously, if someone compiled a list of the top five occasions a banana has been eaten, this afternoon would be number one on the list. I mean, that banana is fucking gone. Monkeys can only dream about eating a banana the way I ate this one.<\/p>\n

You know what’s ironic? I don’t even like bananas that much. It’s not like I’m a professional. When it comes to eating bananas, I don’t really have that much experience. But when I was eating this banana, it was like I went into the zone. There was no way I wasn’t going to totally eat that banana. It was like I was Hitler, and that banana was the nation of Israel, and Hitler had invented a time machine, and traveled into the future, and saw fucking Israel sitting on his desk.*<\/p>\n

In a sad kind of way, I feel like I’ve peaked a little early. I mean, there’s no way I’m ever going to eat a banana as well as I ate that banana today. It kind of hits you hard when you know life is on the down slope, if you know what I mean.<\/p>\n

But hey, what are you going to do? That’s life. At least I know that for a few seconds I was the best at something.<\/p>\n

*The only problem with this analogy is that it has been well documented that Hitler did not eat bananas.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

This afternoon, I totally ate a banana that was sitting on my desk. I mean, I fucking ate it. You might have seen someone eat a banana before. Perhaps you’ve even eaten a banana yourself. But never have you seen a banana get eaten the way I ate this banana. Seriously, if someone compiled a […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":970,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[2541],"tags":[1193,1192,1194,1195,415,1196,191],"class_list":["post-969","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-humor","tag-bananas","tag-f-bombs","tag-hitler","tag-israel","tag-monkeys","tag-time-machine","tag-time-travel"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/entropy2.com\/chaosfactory\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/969","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/entropy2.com\/chaosfactory\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/entropy2.com\/chaosfactory\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/entropy2.com\/chaosfactory\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/entropy2.com\/chaosfactory\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=969"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"http:\/\/entropy2.com\/chaosfactory\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/969\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2519,"href":"http:\/\/entropy2.com\/chaosfactory\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/969\/revisions\/2519"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/entropy2.com\/chaosfactory\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/970"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/entropy2.com\/chaosfactory\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=969"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/entropy2.com\/chaosfactory\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=969"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/entropy2.com\/chaosfactory\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=969"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}