{"id":1735,"date":"2012-02-05T15:49:23","date_gmt":"2012-02-05T07:49:23","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/entropy2.com\/?p=1735"},"modified":"2013-11-23T15:59:28","modified_gmt":"2013-11-23T07:59:28","slug":"pros-cons-peter-jackson-write-screenplay-life","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/entropy2.com\/chaosfactory\/2012\/02\/pros-cons-peter-jackson-write-screenplay-life\/","title":{"rendered":"Why LOTR Sucks: The Pros And Cons Of Having Peter Jackson Write The Screenplay To Your Life"},"content":{"rendered":"

Pro: Never forget what’s important, because he keeps reminding you with flashbacks and clunky dialogue.<\/p>\n

Con: Never have a strong sense of self. Your moods will always be at the mercy of the narrative.<\/p>\n

Pro: You will always know when something important is happening, because you will be moving in slow motion and crying.<\/p>\n

Con: Everybody around you is a total dick, even your friends.<\/p>\n

Pro: If you ever need a horse, one will be waiting for you.<\/p>\n

Con: Your life will never seem to end.<\/p>\n

Pro: The boring parts will be turned into montages.<\/p>\n

Con: Lots of boring parts equals lots of montages.<\/p>\n

Pro: People love you for no apparent reason.<\/p>\n

Con: Liv Tyler.<\/p>\n

Minutes Watched: 3.0:37.09<\/p>\n

Number of Montages: 13<\/p>\n

Number of slow motion close-ups of people crying: 50<\/p>\n

Start at the beginning<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Pro: Never forget what’s important, because he keeps reminding you with flashbacks and clunky dialogue. Con: Never have a strong sense of self. Your moods will always be at the mercy of the narrative. Pro: You will always know when something important is happening, because you will be moving in slow motion and crying. Con: […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":2711,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[1845,1846,110,120,1724,1712,1844,1762,1842],"class_list":["post-1735","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-film_video","tag-clunky-dialogue","tag-flashbacks","tag-liv-tyler","tag-lord-of-the-rings","tag-montage","tag-peter-jackson","tag-screenplay","tag-slow-motion-close-up-of-someone-crying","tag-the-return-of-the-king"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/entropy2.com\/chaosfactory\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1735","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/entropy2.com\/chaosfactory\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/entropy2.com\/chaosfactory\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/entropy2.com\/chaosfactory\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/entropy2.com\/chaosfactory\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1735"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"http:\/\/entropy2.com\/chaosfactory\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1735\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2850,"href":"http:\/\/entropy2.com\/chaosfactory\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1735\/revisions\/2850"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/entropy2.com\/chaosfactory\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/2711"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/entropy2.com\/chaosfactory\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1735"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/entropy2.com\/chaosfactory\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1735"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/entropy2.com\/chaosfactory\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1735"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}