{"id":1588,"date":"2012-01-26T13:55:33","date_gmt":"2012-01-26T05:55:33","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/entropy2.com\/?p=1588"},"modified":"2013-11-26T17:31:45","modified_gmt":"2013-11-26T09:31:45","slug":"learned-council-scene","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/entropy2.com\/chaosfactory\/2012\/01\/learned-council-scene\/","title":{"rendered":"Why LOTR Sucks: What I Learned During The Council Scene"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
    \n
  1. Boromir is a total jerk, a jerk that is well played by Sean Bean.<\/li>\n
  2. Dwarves aren’t very bright.<\/li>\n
  3. Elrond isn’t the only elf with a stick up his ass. I thought elves were supposed to be fun loving and gay.<\/li>\n
  4. Frodo has a serious migraine.<\/li>\n
  5. So does Boromir.<\/li>\n
  6. Dwarves and elves don’t get along.<\/li>\n
  7. The ring can only be destroyed in the fires of Mordor, which seems like a shitty place to take a vacation.<\/li>\n
  8. Nothing rallies a group of people together like a Hobbit saying that he’ll take the ring himself.<\/li>\n
  9. In a movie with a lot of cheesy scenes, this one may be the cheesiest.<\/li>\n
  10. Hobbits aren’t very bright.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    Also, we get three slow motion close ups, and Gandalf may or may not have a tear in his eye, so let’s count this as one slow motion close-up of someone crying.<\/p>\n

    Minutes Watched: 1:45.39<\/p>\n

    Number of Montages: 4<\/p>\n

    Number of slow motion close-ups of people crying: 3<\/p>\n

    Start at the beginning<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    Boromir is a total jerk, a jerk that is well played by Sean Bean. Dwarves aren’t very bright. Elrond isn’t the only elf with a stick up his ass. I thought elves were supposed to be fun loving and gay. Frodo has a serious migraine. So does Boromir. Dwarves and elves don’t get along. The […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":2711,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[1459,1771,1767,1770,1728,1736,1706,120,1772,1744,1769,1762],"class_list":["post-1588","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-film_video","tag-boromir","tag-dwarves","tag-elrond","tag-elves","tag-fellowship-of-the-ring","tag-frodo-baggins","tag-hobbits","tag-lord-of-the-rings","tag-migraine","tag-mordor","tag-sean-bean","tag-slow-motion-close-up-of-someone-crying"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/entropy2.com\/chaosfactory\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1588","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/entropy2.com\/chaosfactory\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/entropy2.com\/chaosfactory\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/entropy2.com\/chaosfactory\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/entropy2.com\/chaosfactory\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1588"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"http:\/\/entropy2.com\/chaosfactory\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1588\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2973,"href":"http:\/\/entropy2.com\/chaosfactory\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1588\/revisions\/2973"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/entropy2.com\/chaosfactory\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/2711"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/entropy2.com\/chaosfactory\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1588"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/entropy2.com\/chaosfactory\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1588"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/entropy2.com\/chaosfactory\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1588"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}