{"id":1342,"date":"2011-08-05T17:46:14","date_gmt":"2011-08-05T09:46:14","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/entropy2.com\/?p=1342"},"modified":"2013-11-25T17:08:05","modified_gmt":"2013-11-25T09:08:05","slug":"douche-bag-frequently-asked-questions","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/entropy2.com\/chaosfactory\/2011\/08\/douche-bag-frequently-asked-questions\/","title":{"rendered":"Why Are You A Douche Bag And Other Frequently Asked Questions"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a>Among our copious amounts of fanmail, we are always getting asked the same questions. I’ve compiled a list of the most frequently asked questions*, and provided the answers here. I know a bunch of retards are still going to ask the same questions, but now I can respond with a real snide email saying, “Look at the FAQ, dipshit.”<\/p>\n

1. Are you gay?<\/strong> No, I’m not. In fact, I slept with your mom last night.<\/p>\n

2. How can you square entropy? That’s scientifically impossible?<\/strong> First of all, the fact you asked the question tells me you are a douche bag<\/a>. Second, I spoke with Science just the other day, and she assured me that squaring entropy is definitely possible. As long as you aren’t a douche bag.<\/p>\n

3. Why should I pay for your blog when MSN offers their content for free?<\/strong> We’ll gladly accept your donations. Make all checks payable to The Chaos Factory and email them to doc@entropy2.com.<\/p>\n

4. Who was responsible for the first Trans-Atlantic Telegraph Cable?<\/strong> Cyrus West Field, in 1892.<\/p>\n

5. Dinosaurs or Killer Robots?<\/strong> Dinosaurs<\/p>\n

6. I want to punch you in the face.<\/strong> Go ahead and try.<\/p>\n

7. Why do you hate God?<\/strong> First, let me ask you a question. Just because I make fun of God every once in a while, why do you assume I hate God? I just think he can be a prick sometimes. Like the other day I was asking really nicely for a rainstorm to hit so I could avoid going to work, and he completely ignored me. I mean, it’s rained every day for like the last 4 weeks, and the one day I need it to rain, God ignores me. Classic prick behavior. But hey, we’re all pricks sometimes. I am a forgiving guy. I don’t hold it against him.<\/p>\n

*Those on the inside like to refer to this kind of answer sheet as an FAQ.<\/p>\n

Please Note: This blog does not like you, and wishes you would stop asking the same questions over and over again.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Among our copious amounts of fanmail, we are always getting asked the same questions. I’ve compiled a list of the most frequently asked questions*, and provided the answers here. I know a bunch of retards are still going to ask the same questions, but now I can respond with a real snide email saying, “Look […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":1343,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[2541],"tags":[1504,301,1223,1508,1510,1505,1507,339,1509,1506,1393,156,1511],"class_list":["post-1342","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-humor","tag-cyrus-west-field","tag-dinosaurs","tag-douche-bag","tag-entropy","tag-fan-mail","tag-faq","tag-gay","tag-god","tag-killer-robots","tag-msn","tag-questions","tag-science","tag-telegraph"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/entropy2.com\/chaosfactory\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1342","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/entropy2.com\/chaosfactory\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/entropy2.com\/chaosfactory\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/entropy2.com\/chaosfactory\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/entropy2.com\/chaosfactory\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1342"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"http:\/\/entropy2.com\/chaosfactory\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1342\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2921,"href":"http:\/\/entropy2.com\/chaosfactory\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1342\/revisions\/2921"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/entropy2.com\/chaosfactory\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1343"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/entropy2.com\/chaosfactory\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1342"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/entropy2.com\/chaosfactory\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1342"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/entropy2.com\/chaosfactory\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1342"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}